The Lesson I Preach But Struggle to Practice

“Hi! How are you?” they ask. 

“I’m good! Tired. Busy. But good!!!” I respond, through tired eyes and a worn down body and mind. But with enthusiasm!!

If any one of my clients answered the “how are you” question the same way I do, I would sure as hell not let it slide. I’d ask more questions - how tired are you? Have you been sleeping well? Are you feeling more stress than usual this week? And I’d tailor their workout of the day and any nutrition advice I give based on their answers to those questions. 

That’s how I coach. Yes, every workout is important, and ideally, my clients would tell me they’re feeling great - they sleep well, eat all their protein and veggies, stay hydrated, and are ready to train hard and effectively that day. But we don’t live in a perfect world, so my job is to help them perfect their routine and their habits to boost resilience to whatever stressors the imperfect world throws at them. 

REST. Rest is essential. 

Last week, one of my clients showed up to our session and didn’t even let me ask how she was doing before she said, “Haley, I’m exhausted beyond measure and stressed out of my mind. Can we please just go for a long walk tonight? I really need to vent and get some fresh air.” 

YES WE CAN. I needed the fresh air, too, but I agreed immediately and felt so so proud of my client for asking that question because it meant she understood the importance of rest, of taking it easy when life feels extremely difficult. 

Later that night, I posted this rest-is-essential reminder on my Instagram in hopes that it would reach more people who needed to hear it. I think it did, so mission: accomplished. But the person who really really REALLY needs to hear it is the one who says it over and over again to her clients. Me. 

Life has been effing crazy since November last year, and it only got crazier post break-up LOL. The company I loved with every ounce of my being was pulled out from underneath me and I had to start building a new foundation - my own company. I’M SO GRATEFUL for every single client, every single supporter who has been by my side throughout this helluva process. I’ve never once felt alone or as anxious as I feared I might. That’s pretty damn incredible. 

I do, however, feel exhausted and that’s on no one else but myself. Building a business and running it alone is no joke. Training 15 amazing humans for 1-3 hours each every week is no joke. Also, raising a puppy…. Don’t even get me started. 

My exhaustion manifests in: digestive issues, mood swings (you won’t  want to be around me), and hormone disruptions - all of which can contribute to a vicious cycle of constant exhaustion. For 75% of the last 4 months, I’ve felt exhausted. 

I called my mom on the way home from my last session of a 12-hour day recently and when she asked “how are you?” I said, “Mom, listen to me. I am exhausted. I need both you and myself to hear me say those words, because otherwise, I won’t slow down and I won’t make the changes I need to make to feel better.” Writing this blog post will seal that deal. 

Like I did with my client the night before, my mom listened and nodded her head and said “mmmhm” just like I needed her to. “I don’t need advice or resources - I know what I need to do and I just need to do it. My body is not superhuman. I cannot keep expecting it to handle this unsustainable lifestyle.” I said.

I’m not changing my career or taking on fewer clients or anything like that. Not gonna’ happen. What I am going to do is start S L O W I N G  D O W N. Scheduling more days and nights for myself every week. Sitting in silence more often. Stretching after every workout. Taking a deep breath multiple times throughout the day. And the list goes on. 

These might sound like such simple tasks, but they can make all the difference in reducing stress levels if they aren’t already part of a healthy lifestyle. 

So, here’s my reminder to you, because I know I’m not the only one out there who struggles with chronically doing too much. 

Your worth is not defined by how much you accomplish. Your worth is inherently YOU. 

Take good care of YOU.

2022 Reflections // 2023 Intentions

I’ve never been one to set New Year’s Resolutions. But the New-Year energy is hard to ignore - how can I not make some sort of promise to myself for the upcoming year? 

A friend of mine shared with me her tradition of setting a word for each year, instead of a resolution. For 2022, I chose  “resolute”. Coincidence? Actually, yes. Exactly one year ago today, I had no idea what the coming 12 months would bring (and boy, was I in for a ride). Sure, I couldn’t wait to start my personal training career at Resolute Fitness, but did I predict a promotion to Chief Operations Officer 3 months in? Absolutely not. 

I just resonated so deeply with the definition of “resolute”: admirably purposeful, determined, unwavering (1). Three other synonyms that stood out to me were “confidence”, “passion”, and “drive”. As I reflected on 2021, all of these were qualities I was missing, and desperately craving. “Resolute” ignited an inner drive I hadn’t felt in so long… if ever. 

2022 brought a handful of triumphs and accomplishments, and another handful of uncertainty and challenges. Nonetheless, I pushed myself closer and closer to Resolute (both the company and the adjective), rebuilding confidence, pursuing my passion, and sustaining the drive. 

Chapter 2022 ended in both major loss and major gain. Losing what could have been, and gaining back an ever-evolving better version of myself. I’m stepping into 2023 with a firm definition of “resolute” in my own life, and a heart that is so ready to live out that definition. 

Confidence. Passion. Drive. 

Confidence - it’s not something you get. It’s something you create for yourself. Confidence doesn’t come from the outside - it comes from within. 

Passion - what are we living for, if not our unique passions? This, I think, is at the core of what makes us each the individual that we are. 

Drive - relentlessly pursue that passion with unbreakable confidence. 

Maybe you’ve already set your resolutions or goals or whatever tradition you partake in each year. I just hope this ignites your desire to pursue that. Give it your all. And do it for YOU. because you are the most important investment you will ever make.

What would your 2023 word be? Take some time to think - reflect on the past year, and set intentions for the upcoming year. Once you find it, write it down everywhere. Post it anywhere and everywhere you’ll see it. Pursue it relentlessly.

Change

I always feel the need to explain myself when I’ve been absent on any platform for a few weeks, and I don’t really know why. Realistically, no one really notices, right?

Well, if you didn’t notice, I haven’t written any new blog posts over the last few weeks because my brain just hasn’t had the bandwidth for it. Things have been changing - big time - so I’ve given myself the time and space needed to process it all.

Change.

Is it just me, or when you hear that word, do you also feel a bit of anxiety and discomfort? I do, almost every single time. In fact, I can feel my heart racing a liiiiiittle faster right now. Change - for better or worse - is hard. So hard, especially for those of us who thrive in routine, consistency, and our comfort zones.

But here’s the thing - if we aren’t periodically checking in with ourselves, disrupting the consistency of our everyday routines and stepping outside of our comfort zones to ask how we’re doing (yes, talk to yourself), we can overlook signs telling us something is off. Checking in can be uncomfortable, and potentially exposing a need for change can be nerve-racking, but what’s worse - living out of alignment with who you are meant to be or pushing through temporary pain and discomfort to reach the YOU you’ve always wanted to be?

Personally, I think the former is worse.

So I chose change.

And let me tell you: it was the hardest decision I’ve ever had to make in my life. Choosing pain for myself and for another person whom I’ve loved with all my heart. It’s strange to say that I knew I was making the right decision when that pain was the immediate result, but that’s just what happens sometimes. The easy decision, on the other hand, is not always the right decision. The hard decision can be both the right decision AND the hardest decision (like… ever).

What it comes down to, for me at least, is this:

Regardless of who is around you, YOU are the person you come home to every night. You are the person you fall asleep with. You are the person you make decisions with and for. You are the person you speak to before everyone else. You are the person who digests your thoughts and feelings, and the words of others.

You are the most important person, and yours is the most important opinion, in your own life. If you are not happy with a part of it, only you can change it. If you choose not to change it, only you can sit with that. If you do choose to change it, only you can really pick yourself up.

And at the end of the day, only you are the one who can truly be happy or unhappy with who you are.

I’m not trying to emphasize the pain of this recent decision to ask for pity. Rather, I know many family and friends will be reading this, and therefore have a deeper connection to those of us involved. And I care about these people and this person almost more than I ever thought possible.

I’ve moved and gotten my own apartment, and I’m just kind of living on my own. Just living, processing, working, and spending time with myself. It was quite an adjustment, but I’m proud of myself for feeling everything and processing fully so that now I can just… be. Now I can move forward and move into growth.

My hope is that these words inspire someone to approach change, or the potential for it, with courage, confidence, and self-love. You don’t need to be fearless - heck, I certainly wasn’t. Stay rooted in yourself, and the second you feel your roots beginning to disconnect, know that it’s time for a change.

Be courageous. Live with confidence. And never stop loving yourself first.

BACK AT IT!

Happy 8th birthday (plus 2 months) to this blog! My little corner of the internet that I just can’t seem to escape from.

Through all of the ups and downs and changes and same-olds over the last 8 years, this blog has always felt like home. Sure, I’ve walked away from it at times, but I’ve always come back, just like I’m doing now.

Most recently, I think I took a step back because - I hate to admit it - the pressure of page views and pretty pictures became overwhelming. Also, work has picked up speed and, most days, I wonder how I’m supposed to fit all my to-do’s into my 17 waking hours. I’m sure you can all relate to that feeling.

And hopefully you have one thing - one hobby, one activity, one bit of “you” time - that taps you on your shoulder and calls you back home. For me, that’s this. I’m happy to be here.

Some things are going to change, or I guess just go back to the way I intended for them to be here! This time, I refuse to worry about numbers. If one person reads my posts, hey, I’m so happy you and only you are here! I hope you love what you read. I also refuse to spend more than 3 minutes making a photo look nice or editing it beyond recognition. Whatever you see here is exactly what it is. I don’t even have the Photoshop app on my computer anymore.

And finally, you may have noticed that the Recipes page I mostly frequently posted on is not available for viewing. I’m sorry!! I just don’t align with those recipes anymore. Yes, they’re delicious, and maybe if you ask nicely and promise me you’re staying physically active and eating your greens I’ll email one to you. But I’m going to start sharing more of the recipes I use on a daily and weekly basis. Ones that DO align with me and my values and my nutrition and food philosophy. They will still be delicious. And they’ll be even more nutritious.

There is just no way to make the combination of delicious + nutritious not sound cheesy.

The only things I ask of you are to 1) please come back. Please read and please share anything you find interesting, helpful, funny, or just cool with someone who also enjoy it. And 2) if you have any questions or requests for a post, PLEASE tell me! I can always use the inspiration and creativity boost, and I love knowing that what I write is highly requested by my valued readers.

Thank you, and I’m so so so happy to be back.

Life Update (It's been a while!)

I feel like nobody reads blog posts anymore. Everybody’s watching everybody else’s life on YouTube, TikTok, or Instagram stories. That’s fine, I’ll still be here writing (typing) away. 

It’s been about 6 months since my last life update, and boy, are we due for a new one. So much has changed! I miss blogging, writing, and staying connected to my little home on the internet. I just have very little time or energy these days (which is exactly what I said almost a year ago now) to dedicate to this space. I’m sad about that, but it is what it is for now. 

Job: 

I’m almost at the one-year mark at my job! For anyone new, I’m a corporate wellness event planner for an office building in downtown Minneapolis. Yes, I’m in downtown Minneapolis, and I’m happy to say that it seems like the city is coming back to life! Slowly, but surely. Employees are returning to the office. Skyways are beginning to bustle during the lunch hours. It’s very exciting for me because, let me tell ya’, it’s tricky to be an event planner when everyone is sick of virtual events but not yet back in the office to attend in-person events. Just saying. 

I love my job - I really really do. And I work with an amazing team of inspiring, passionate, and supportive individuals. It’s a demanding job, both mentally and physically. It keeps me on my toes most of the time (so I do get all my steps in!) and it challenges my creativity. However, it’s not my passion. It doesn’t fulfill me the way I would really want a career to. I talked to Brandon about this the night before I was to return to work, and as I anxiously shed a few tears, he reminded me that I’m only 24 and I don’t need to be set in my career just yet. I have so much time to pursue my true passion. Soak up this experience while I have the opportunity, and learn all that I can with the resources available to propel me towards whatever comes next. 

My dad said this was a very mature attitude to have, so I was pretty pumped about that. #adulting

Diet: 

Since about mid-March, I’ve been dealing with some tummy issues - indigestion, bloating, constipation, and the like. I hope that’s not TMI, it’s just honesty. That really weighed me down, both mentally and physically. Anyone who has ever dealt with prolonged tummy issues will absolutely agree that 1) they suck in general and 2) they suck the energy out of you. I felt like I was doing pretty much everything right - eating all my fruits, veggies, and whole grains, getting my exercise, staying hydrated, sleeping pretty well, and more. Still, I couldn’t last more than 2-3 days a week without tummy symptoms. 

As I do, when I have questions, I did some research and what I found, I wanted to avoid. I didn’t want to cut out foods or be “restrictive” in any sense of the word because I’ve been there before and, looking back, I hate thinking about how much I missed out on. But as I thought about it more and more, I realized I was still missing out on so much of my life. I couldn’t focus at work, I felt uncomfortable after almost every meal, I was becoming moody and irritable around the people I love most, and I wasn’t able to progress in the gym. 

So I did it. I followed and still am following - not perfectly, but very closely - a paleo(ish) diet. I don’t eat gluten, grains or beans, I avoid dairy as much as possible, I stopped eating highly processed foods (which, let’s be honest, was mainly my favorite donut from Cardigan Donuts in Minneapolis), and I cut way back on the alcohol consumption. After about a week, I FELT SO MUCH BETTER. I actually felt hungry in the morning after my workouts, I could focus all day at work, I could… um… eat! 

Three weeks in and I still feel so good. So stinkin’ good. I will very likely try to reintroduce grains at some point soon because let me ya’ somethin’ - I’m really craving a pizza. I also don’t think it’s these foods that directly caused the tummy issues. Rather, I’d guess it was a combination of poorly managing stress, overexercising, and eating a few too many fried foods paired with alcoholic beverages (classic situation). So yes, I’m working on those things in addition to following a paleo(ish) diet. 

One thing I include in my daily routine that has helped SO incredibly much is Gut Power Drinks (this is not sponsored) - it’s a blend of pre- and probiotics in a highly tolerable dose and form, developed by a registered dietitian who specializes in gut health. I mix a scoop of the cocoa flavor into my coffee, along with a splash of almond milk, honey, and vanilla extract. I also love the matcha and coffee flavors! This stuff is the best and has been instrumental in restoring my tummy health. Try some! Use “HUNGRYHALEY” at checkout for 15% off your first order. Download the Gut Power Challenge, while you’re there.

Everyday life (outside of my job): 

Wellllllll I kind of have a new roommate! Two, actually. Brandon and Lily (the dog, if you’re new here) have been staying with me for the last few months and we decided we really like it. We live well together. At the end of the summer, we’ll have our own place! We’re undecided on whether that will be an apartment south of Minneapolis or a condo closer to downtown, and we won’t know yet for a few months. That’s okay, we’re just excited. :) 

Also, Brandon and I are the absolute worst about taking pictures together, but we’re both really good at taking pictures of Lily, which you’d probably enjoy more, anyway, so here you go.

Things in Minneapolis are opening up! In fact, Governor Walz just announced that all restrictions will be lifted by July 1st, or whenever the state of MN reaches 70% vaccination. I repeat - all restrictions lifted. A normal summer! WHAT. Yes please. Yes pleeeeeeease. I’m ready for Twins games, restaurants and bars, family gatherings, and touching shoulders and seeing people smile and all that good stuff we’ve missed out on for a long a$$ time. 

Thankfully, our families have been able to get vaccinated quickly, so we’re able to see them on a regular basis without any worry. Both Brandon and I are halfway vaccinated. I cried a little bit, honestly - it was just so incredible seeing the vaccinations taking place. This is something that, a year ago, we could barely even dream of and now, here we are. We’re really fortunate for all that we have, and all that we are able to do.

Training: 

I AM accepting new clients! Work one-on-one with me, a certified personal trainer, for customized workout programs - gym, home, minimal equipment, and more options. Send me an email and let’s get started! I’m also working on developing some 8 and 12 week workout guides - for anyone who just wants the workouts without the 1-on-1 coaching, these will be perfect. I can’t wait to release them!

Thoughts: Words I'm Loving Lately

These words are simple, yet significant. Short, yet so powerful.

I’ve been reminding myself of these snippets of encouragement throughout my days to boost my confidence and energy, and to stay connected to who I am and what I want. :)

In fact, self-care above all else is the exact opposite of selfishness. We cannot be our truest, kindest selves if we are not taking care of ourselves. Of course, that means eating well, sleeping well, and exercising. It also means taking time for yourself, regularly tuning into your thoughts and tuning out of the world around you. It means parting from relationships that do not serve you, or worse, that only take from you. The best thing we can be in and for this world is our truest, kindest self, and in order to be that person consistently, we need to take care of ourselves consistently.

This one pretty much piggy-backs right off the previous one. ‘nough said.

Ohhhhh I love this one so much. Don’t let the energy of those around you control how you show up everyday. Bring the energy you want to attract. Think about the energy that inspires you, the qualities you admire, etc. and bring those with you.

One of my 2021 words is “focus”, and this quote reminds me of that. Focusing on our purpose keeps us strong against the comparison trap, and successful in our journey to reaching to reaching our goals.

This one is so much easier said than done, I know. I’ve rolled my eyes at this quote many times, so if you’re doing that right now, I get it.

I woke up one morning last week feeling tired after a couple less-than-great nights of sleep, anxious, stressed (blah blah blah). I saw this quote on Pinterest, took a deep breath, and thought about all the reasons I have to be joyful, and I chose to FOCUS on those. It made all the difference! Again, I know there are some days when “just choose joy” feels stupidly impossible, but it’s worth it. And it can be simple:

• Choose to look on the bright side when a situation doesn’t go as planned.

• Choose to focus on the growth opportunities with obstacles arise.

• Choose to smile at those passing by on your way to work.

• Choose to take a deep breath and respond, rather than quickly react.

---

I hope these little words of encouragement have brought some light into your week! They always do for me. :)

Updated Apartment Tour: Holiday Edition

HAPPY HOLIDAYS! Let’s multiply that times 20 though because it’s 2020 and it’s. been. a. year. so we need extra holiday cheer. We need like 10 Will Ferrells dressed as uncomfortably large and loud elves.

Anywho, welcome back to my apartment! I moved in June and only recently started feeling actually settled in, thanks to some small and some much larger updates. It’s a teeny, tiny space now with the additions, but it’s home. I should probably come right out and warn those who are… um, extra concerned about things being straight and perfectly lined up and matching and all that. You’ll see a few situations where that is not the case in my apartment, and I’m not bugged by it! That’s just me. ☺️

As was the case in the first apartment tour, most if not all of the decor is from Target or TJ Maxx, if you’re wondering. Like I always say, we are ballin’ on a budget in this apartment!

We’ve had this Christmas countdown calendar in our family for as long as I can remember, perhaps even longer. This year, with all of us being apartment for most of the days leading up to Christmas Eve (when we will celebrate together), my parents split the decorations amongst my themselves, my brother, and me. I’m the lucky duck who got the countdown calendar!

The most important and most frequently occupied area: the kitchen. You probably guessed that. When I first moved in, many of the cabinets and much of the counter space was empty, but that’s all changed by now. I’ve done my best to purchase only the essentials, and I’ve succeeded at times and failed at others. It all just comes down to the fact that… I have a small apartment. ☺️

My kitchen island is doubling as my work-from-home desk right now, so I keep it cleeee-eeee-eeeeean at all times, whether I’m working or cooking or eating or sitting on the couch. Because it has multiples roles, I keep it *almost* spotless *almost* all the time, except for these essentials at one end: a seasonal candle, a pen holder, and two photos of two of my favorite people (grandma on the right and grandpa on the left). It also has some shelves, which you’ll see in other photos, and I use those for storing tupperware and pots and pans on one side, and mail, to-do lists, etc. and dog toys on the other. How functional is that?!

Here’s my cute new bar/coffee cart! The first thing my eyes see are the two crooked shelves at the bottom that I am way too lazy to fix. Ignore those if you can, please! Because I’m not adventurous enough with my coffee or my alcohol, I couldn’t justify setting up a cart for either one, so I combined the two and it works perfectly. My coffee maker is a Hamilton Beach 12-Cup Programmable Coffee Maker in black and I snatched it up on super-duper sale right before Black Friday at Target. Score! It makes delicious coffee. I’m currently drinking Dunn Brothers - medium roast, please! - on an almost daily basis, and I’m about to pick up a caramel roast from Caribou Coffee that my boyfriend’s sister-in-law always has. It smells like the holidays in a cup and I just need it.

At around the same time I purchased the cart, I also invested in/splurged on a Toshiba 43” Smart Fire TV. If you know me, you might be asking if I actually did buy a TV. Well, I did! And I love it. It was, like the coffee maker, also on super-duper pre-Black Friday sale at Best Buy. I’m so so soooo happy I made this purchase! I don’t watch a ton of TV “in normal times”, but these aren’t normal times and winter is here, so I’m watching more TV. That’s that on that.

Some additions to my cozy little living room since your last visit are the dumbbells and yoga mat underneath the couch, so now it’s not only a living room and an office, but also a gym! So versatile. So functional (kind of). That big gray pillow on the couch is also new, and it’s just one of two I splurged on at Target. Holy moly - these pillows are incredible! They’re softer than you could ever imagine, and they hold their fluffiness pretty well through the night. The little pup stuffed animal next to the pillow is meant to be heated and placed over my tummy during that time of the month, and boy oh boy, he comes in handy. I keep him close by when I know the time is coming.

And last but not least, some accessory pieces! One of my best friends from college handmade this sign above the tree, and I am so going to keep it for years to come. It’s one of my first very own holiday decorations, and it’s made by hand by one of my best friends!

My cute little side table is one of my favorite pieces of furniture. That coaster tray holds my coffee cup in the morning, my water glass for the rest of the day, and my wine glass at night. You know, any other year, you’d wonder why in the world I’m sitting on my couch all day. It’s 2020, though, so you know why. I LOVE these sparkly Christmas trees (thank you, Target dollar section) and the gnome my mom donated, too. Fun fact: I didn’t know these guys were gnomes for the longest time - I just thought they were little Santa figurines so I called them “blind Santas”. Obviously, I know now that they are gnomes, but “blind Santas” has a better ring to it, I think.

Well, happy holidays from me and my 589 square feet of Minneapolis! I hope these photos helped spread some holiday cheer, and maybe even provide some decoration inspiration. Stay cozy, stay healthy, and I’ll see you again soon!

Thoughts: Some 2020 Highlights

I’ll skip all the “what a year!” talk because we’ve heard that enough, and we know what a year it’s been. Unexpected, unimaginable, unprecedented, and yet, here we are! Alive (if you’re reading this) and grateful to be here (hopefully). 

With high hopes of exploring Minneapolis once the snow melted, and landing the job I set my heart on, and even finding an unexpected love the minute I stopped looking, I had a great feeling about 2020. 3 months in, I had to adjust my plans drastically, and for a stubborn woman like me, adjustments to unexpected change aren’t always easy. I’ve wrestled with new-to-me feelings of anxiety and depression, and hurtful doubt in the God I had built my life upon. 

All of this weighed so heavily on me that even when things did start to get a little better - Minnesota beginning to open up, finally receiving and accepting the job offer, moving into the city - I still had so little energy and passion for this space in me that, in order to take care of myself, I needed to step back and give that process all I had. I’m still doing that and it’s tough sometimes, but I’m here, I’m alive, and I’m so so grateful for all that I still have - a stable job, an apartment that I can call my home, and a cozy handful of healthy and supportive loved ones around me that I can see on a regular basis (from a distance and masked, that is). 

With that, I wanted to share some happiness from the last few months while I was gone. Here comes a photo and memory dump. Enjoy, my friends. ❤️

I moved into my very own first apartment! Check out the mini tour here, and come back next week for a much-needed updated tour with all the new furnishings, including a TV and bar/coffee cart. I’m living in Loring Park, with a gorgeous view of downtown Minneapolis, a couple of great neighbors, and my favorite brewery just around the corner. Yes, Minneapolis is very different right now, but I’m still very happy here.

But wait - before the apartment came the job! You can read more about that here. I work for a corporate wellness network called LifeStart, which is based in Chicago, and I work on-site at Fifth Street Towers in downtown Minneapolis as the Community Manager. Here, I’m in charge of planning events and boosting tenant engagement with and within the building. I am so incredibly grateful for the opportunity to work on a team surrounded by inspiring, encouraging, and like-minded individuals who provide me opportunities to learn and grow every single day. Jenna, to my left, manages our fitness center and has been working in this building for almost four years now. Our tenants know and love her so so much, and I’m grateful to work by her side!

Because I worked in an office from June through November, I meal-prepped A LOT. Like, every week, and sometimes more than that. My go-lunch is this: roasted veggies, seared chicken breast, mixed greens, and some sort of dressing, dip, cheese, etc. It’s so tasty, so simple, and so satisfying. And, it’s quite pretty, if you ask me.

I made a friend! This is Addie - we met at work and became friends instantly. Instantly! We’ve been there for each other through plenty of unexpected ups and downs over the last few months. It’s the kind of friendship two people are very lucky to share.

Mission Become a Regular at My Local Coffee Shop accomplished! Jenna and I are frequent visitors of our Caribou Coffee shop. Pro tip: join the rewards program. The points add up quickly, and when you forget your wallet on one of those days and NEED coffee, the points will save you. Also, can we take a second to appreciate those shimmery buildings in the background?! That’s my office! Gah, I’m so lucky.

My favorite meal with my favorite man. Red Cow has some of theeeeeee best burgers I’ve ever had. I’ve tried a few on the menu, and now I always always always rely on a burger that, terribly unfortunately, is not on their menu at the moment. I just checked the website so I could provide the correct name, and didn’t see it listed. How sad! It’s a juicy burger topped with creamy bleu cheese and sweet apricot jam. Pair it with sweet potato crinkle plank fries, a nice crisp cider, and you’ve got yourself quite a meal.

One of my favorite places in Minneapolis - Lakes and Legends. ❤️I’ll admit - I do feel a bit strange expressing so much love for a brewery, but you’ll understand where I’m coming from after your first visit. A welcoming, fun team of staff members and master brewers, a wide open taproom that has adapted so well to the demands of maintaining a healthy and successful business during a pandemic, and of course, a rotating tap selection of beers crafted by hand. This brewery is the definition of community here in this neighborhood. And it has made Friday nights in 2020 feel somewhat normal. You can find me here once or twice a week (or, when stuck at home, with a L&L crowler that I picked up in the taproom).

What better way to follow than with a photo of the pizza-slinging food truck I fell in love with (not an exaggeration) during my first visit to L&L?! Blue Fire Pizza Truck - you guys. It doesn’t get better than this. The three guys crammed in the truck work hard to craft these incredible, crispy-crusted, cheesy-topped pizzas that I will forever adore and… well, quite honestly, stalk on social media. It’s a food truck - that’s what one must do!

Perhaps the most exciting event of 2020 - finally obtaining my personal trainer certification on October 25th! Years in the making, this certification felt so so good to finally hold in my own two hands. I love cooking and baking, but this is where my heart is. Training, learning to adapt to new stimuli, challenging my body and mind, and someday soon, walking alongside others as they do the same to achieve their goals.

I VOTED. I walked out of the polling location around the corner from my apartment feeling empowered and important for one of the first times all year. This feeling was unlike any other. And yes, I cried. It’s me - come on.

I also made this lunch approximately 17 million times - roasted sweet potato (or whatever the white ones are, technically) over mixed greens with seared sausage (here’s my favorite brand), topped with crumbled bleu cheese and homemade balsamic vinaigrette. It’s a bowl of perfectly combined sweet, salty, and tangy flavors with all sorts of textures. It’s my perfect lunch, and that makes my work-prep routine so much easier every week. I know exactly what I’m packing for lunch and I know it will keep me feeling satisfied and energized to power through the rest of the day.

I think I’ve taken more daily walks since March this year than I have in my entire lifetime, and I bet I’m only one of many who can say that. Look how beautiful these winter walks are, even without snow yet! I can’t say I’m too happy about the absence of snow, but it is what it is, and it’s still beautiful outside.

We did, however, get snow dumped on us back in October and November! And speaking of beauty - my goodness! The sunlight reflecting off the snow on these white mornings lit up my whole apartment and it was just marvelous. I cannot wait for this to happen again.

This was both a surprise to many and a big accomplishment for me - I bought a new TV AND set it up all by myself! Technically, the TV didn’t require much hands-on after it was out of the box and on the TV stand, but that task in and of itself (not to mention schlepping it out of Best Buy and confidently assuring the employees I didn’t need their assistance) was quite a feat. I’ve never been much of a TV-watcher, aside from my favorite cooking shows and Christmas movies when the time comes around, but my apartment just begged for one, especially since we are heading into winter and another partial shutdown due to the pandemic. Now, I’m definitely a TV-watcher, but don’t worry about providing recommendations because I probably will just keep watching re-runs of The Great British Baking Show and The Chef Show. 😊

And here’s the other side of my apartment! My tiny little living room. It’s cozy and space-efficient, it’s pretty, and it’s all mine. Renting my own apartment somewhere in a metropolitan area during my 20’s has always been a goal of mine. To do so during a pandemic and major period of civil unrest when the beloved Minneapolis/St. Paul area looks completely different, not so much, but here I am and I’m making the best of it.

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Two more very important things: my human and our pup. ❤️ I don’t quite know what I would have done this year without them. I’m so grateful for Lily’s cuddles and licks, and Brandon’s strength, optimism, and uplifting sense of humor that reminds me to not take life too seriously, and encourages me to remember how strong I am, even on the toughest of days. I love these two!

One more thing: confidence. If there’s one thing I’ve reclaimed this year, it’s my self-confidence. As I’m sure many of us did, I went through a rough patch when this pandemic started - I was jobless, but giving my job search my all every single day; I was hungry for friends, but not able to see anyone; I was grateful to be with my family, but discouraged that I couldn’t be working and living the life I had pictured for this time in my 20’s. And I was fit and healthy, but - most importantly - just not confident in my own skin.

I realized it was only I who has control over my self-confidence, so I took charge and made changes to rebuild myself - mind and body. What size I wear and how much I weigh doesn’t matter. What truly matters at the end of the day, to me, is that I took the initiative to make the change I wanted and needed to make and have sustained it. I’m not perfect and I have plenty of bad days still, but I know that at the end of any good or bad day, I have me and I love this woman I have become.

And that’s the most valuable piece of advice I can give - ask yourself who you are, what you want, and where you are at. Do you love the person in your head, in your heart, in the mirror? Are you focusing on the things you can control and pursuing your goals whole-heartedly? Are you taking care of yourself? Ask yourself those questions, and be brave to make changes as needed. Be brave. 🖤

Thoughts: Six Years Later

Well, first things first: happy 6th birthday to Hungry Haley ❤️

Six years ago. I feel like I was both a completely different person and yet still all the same as I am now. I don’t know how that works, or if it makes sense (it doesn’t), but there’s no other way to describe it. 

When I launched this blog, I was heading off to college, right after my first heart-break, excited and terrified for all the change I saw coming, and knee-deep in an eating disorder. It was… a weird time. But I latched on for dear life to this little space I had just created for myself and found so much comfort, so much growth, so much of everything I didn’t know I needed at the time.

Peace. Acceptance. Discovery. Passion. Connection. It healed me.

As the years went on, I evolved and so did my little space. Not in a good way or a bad way, it just did. I loved that - that this is mine, no one else’s, and it can be whatever I want it to be because it’s part of me. It’s a big, big part of me…

… but it’s not who I am. It’s not my career. It’s not something I think about everyday, or want to do everyday. I’m passionate about what this page represents, about the relationships I’ve built through it, and about the person it has helped shape me into. I’m just not that passionate about developing content anymore. 

A couple months ago, I was offered the job I’ve pictured myself in for years now. That’s 45-50 hours of my week and I love it! That just leaves very little time and energy for me to run Hungry Haley the same way I always have. Since the day I received the offer in June, I knew this change was coming. Actually, I’ve known for an even longer time, but haven’t given the thought much room to grow because it’s HARD to think about changing and - even though I don’t want to say “losing”, I know it’s a possibility so I need to say it - losing this space. 

One night after work last week, I crashed on the couch and felt everything hit me. How can I possibly keep up with blogging and social media, a personal training “side business”, work a full-time job, and still do my own thing? 

See, Hungry Haley no longer falls into the category of “my own thing”. My own things are different from what they were six years ago (not surprisingly). Now, I want to go outside and explore and interact with people. I still want to eat and take pictures, but I don’t want to feel pressured to write about the whole thing and my whole weekend and all these nutrition tips and workouts and recipes. If the website is there, I feel that pressure. 

I know what everyone will say - “Haley, you don’t need to give it up completely! Just take a step back.” And then I’ll give them the you-know-me look that says “Yeah, right.”

So, this is the change I’m making, the one I’ve seen coming for a while now. I’m taking a break from the blog (even though I will most definitely be writing everyday behind the scenes, just for my own sanity) and changing the frequency, intention, and slightly the content of my social media posts. I need to give myself a break to rest, to think clearly. It’s hard to think about letting all of this go, and it’s just as hard to think about continuing to carry the load I am now. I’m putting too much pressure on myself and I’m e x h a u s t e d. 

Most importantly, I want to reconnect with Haley, and give “Hungry Haley” some space. Anyone who is in the food-blogging, social media, “influencer” sphere knows that a lot of things can get to your head, and the cliche saying “stay true to who you are” is instrumental. Hungry Haley is a big, big part of me, but not the x amount of likes, comments, followers, or the frequency of my posts. 

My desire to work is there. I love my job. My desire to get involved in the community is there. I love Minneapolis. My desire to meet new people is there. I’m making friends! My desire to grow my fitness and nutrition knowledge is there. I want to study personal training and nutrition coaching. 

I just don’t have the desire to be everything Hungry Haley has been for the last six years anymore.

My Minneapolis Studio Apartment Tour!

WELCOME! This is my home and I am so incredibly happy here. I fell in love with this space the minute I walked in and I’ve only grown to love it more and more each day. It’s my first very own apartment and I’m here now to give you a virtual tour! I’ve linked as much of the furniture and decor as possible. You’ll see that most of it is from Target, of course, especially the large furniture pieces. The smaller decorations are from either Target, TJ Maxx, or Cotton On. Though I wish I could say so, I didn’t stick to an exact budget - it was just too stressful. I prioritized quality of furniture while comparing prices between Target, IKEA, Facebook Marketplace, etc. Then, I considered the delivery process - ease, timeline, etc. Clearly, Target won the competition and I can happily say I got ALL of this for less than $1,500.

For anyone considering moving to the Minneapolis area and still apartment-hunting, if you’re interested in this apartment building, it’s brand new and has tons of beautiful units available for a very competitive price. Message me for details and I’m happy to share more information!

Without further ado, come on in!

LIVING ROOM

I live in what is now known as an “alcove” - it’s like a studio, but with a 3/4 wall dividing the bedroom and the living room. My unit is 589 square feet, which I’ve found is just enough for me, and the ceilings are 12 feet up, which makes it feel so much bigger and more spacious than it actually is. The gray couch, pictured here, is unfortunately no longer available at Target, but the link below will take you to the online page with several similar models within the same price range. The pink-ish chair is still available! In front of the chair, the circular ottoman is from TJ Maxx - Mom found that one for me, and I was skeptical about the colors at first (the gold legs bothered me), but I’m starting to like them now. Above the couch, Mom hung three of her original pieces, and I’ve linked her online store below if you’re interested in some handmade customizable artwork! Oh, and the string lantern lights are from Target, too!

This is my favorite picture :) For some perspective, I’m standing in the kitchen while taking this photo, and you’ll see the kitchen next. Don’t you just LOVE that chair?! I love that chair. I rarely ever sit in it, but I love it and I’ve linked it below. Right next to the chair is the bookshelf, which I was anticipating to look emptier than it does, but I guess I have more cookbooks and reading books than I thought. Not surprised. And on the other side of the chair is the side table - I’m extra proud because I set that up myself and it hasn’t crumbled to pieces (yet).

KITCHEN

I mean come on, how gorgeous is she! From where I am standing in this photo, the living room is behind me and the patio is to my left (the patio was also a huge selling point and you’ll see that soon). My KitchenAid stand-mixer was a Christmas gift last year and I haven’t gotten to use it much - I left in Minnesota because I was still living in California at the time and didn’t want to lug it on the plane or worry about shipping it. Alas, it’s now perched on my very own kitchen counter and it fits perfectly! Yes, there are dirty dishes in the sink. Real life, people. Those kitchen towels are a find from TJ Maxx - thanks Mom!

And here’s a close-up of my little teeny tiny coffee corner! I like it here because it’s right next to the patio and I absolutely love opening the blinds first thing when I wake up, just before I make coffee. It’s a simple coffee corner because that’s how I like my coffee. Right now I’m using a blend of the Caribou Mahogany roast and the Dunn Brother's Peru roast. As for the coffee maker… it’s okaaaay, which is why it isn’t linked (but if you really want to know, ask me and I will gladly share). I could have and should have invested a bit more into it, but for now, it does the trick and when I have the resources, I’ll spend them on a better coffee maker. The wall art is a few years old from Chickpea Magazine - I’ve linked their online store below and although you won’t find these exact pieces, you will find similar and just-as-adorable pieces!

As you can see, this is the other half of the kitchen. Plenty of counter space and fridge space for just one person! And I have a lot of kitchen stuff and I tend to also have quite a bit of food. That H marquee light is from Cotton On and was kind of an impulse-buy because it was clearance. Look how cute it is though! While the H might not still be available (I grabbed one of the last few), I’ve linked the online store below if your name begins with a different letter. H is quite popular, I guess.

BEDROOM

This is the room I spent the least amount of my awake time each day. I’m in here reading about a half-hour before bed and maybe five minutes after my alarm goes off (unless I press snooze… which is rare). So, again, I kept it simple. I opted for a queen-size bed because I knew for sure I could fit this size with a small nightstand and still have some walking space on both sides of the bed. I’ve linked the mattress below, but like the coffee maker, I could’ve invested a bit more here. I’m not a picky sleeper and I would rather sleep on a firm mattress than a soft one, so this one works for me, but I would recommend spending a bit more and testing out multiple mattresses before you make your final choice if you do have a specific preference. The bed frame I LOVE - I think it makes a simple room feel a bit more bold, but without being, like, you know… too much. It’s also from Target and it’s also linked below.

The nightstand is another addition I’m quite proud of for the same reason as the side table - I set it up all by myself and it’s a sturdy little thing!

BATHROOM

And now for the least attractive part - the bathroom! I don’t have a ton to say about this space, other than the fact that I’m grateful for a bathtub, a large countertop, and tall ceilings. The shower is from - take a guess - Target! My mom snagged it off the clearance rack, so I can’t imagine you’ll find this exact one, but it’s Target, so they’re guaranteed to have one similar sometime soon or at least another one that you’ll like.

AAAAND, THE VIEW!

I can’t pick a favorite part of the apartment… okay okay FINE it’s this. The view is, um, fantastic! Morning, noon, and night, I love sitting on the couch and seeing this in the background. I’m close enough to the city that I can make it to work in 15 minutes or less, but far enough away that I can sleep in peace each night, see some trees, and feel like I live in an actual neighborhood.

I could stare at this all day, and it’s Saturday (as I type this), so I certainly will :)

Thanks for taking the tour with me! I hope you’re able to find some cute, functional, and affordable furniture for your home :)

Thoughts: Some Changes

I have fallen in love with this space over the last six years. It’s become a home for my heart and my head in the best and worst of times, and it will always be that. However, Hungry Haley has never been my dream. It’s a part of my passion, but not the biggest part. I enjoy much of the time I spend working in this space, and I’ve tried and tried and tried to make this space my career (and to those of who can and have done that, I applaud you because it is hard!), but I’ve always known that there is something else I need to be doing to develop skills, to grow my knowledge, and to pursue what really is my passion. 

A few months ago, I sat in a coffee shop a little bogged down after hours of job-searching. Nothing I had come across yet lit me up or at the very least felt like a position I could see myself in. Just as I was about to close up my computer for the day and head home, an opening popped up on my screen and I read the description. 

It’s perfect. I knew it. 

That was in March, and then a week later, the pandemic hit and interrupted the application and interview process, which had since then been on hold until only a few weeks ago when I heard from the hiring manager again. She emailed me late one Friday night, and of course I wasn’t doing much, so I responded and confirmed the third and final interview within minutes. My heart raced. My palms sweat. My hopes rose again and I knew I had to do everything in my power to get this job. 

And guess what? I GOT THE JOB.

I waited and waited and waited ever so impatiently throughout the entire process, and when it finally closed with a job offer last week, I cried tears of joy for the next three days straight. I could cry just thinking about it! 

Starting next Monday, I’ll be working in downtown Minneapolis at Fifth Street Towers. This is a full-time job, 40 hours a week, Monday-Friday. It won’t be easy-breezy and it will be stressful at times. I’m nervous and excited. I’m so ready. 

So, what does this mean for Hungry Haley?

Well, it means Hungry Haley moves to the backseat. This is my passion project, my hobby, my side thing. It’s never been my dream career, so I’m okay with this. I need an office with coworkers and human interaction. I need time away from recipe-developing and Pinterest-ing. Personal training will also take a backseat. I will continue to produce content and take clients as I am able, while maintaining my job as my priority. 

I wanted to share this here because this space, yes, is a small part of my passion and a large piece of my heart. I’ve shared so much here, dedicated so much time and energy to it. Placing it in the backseat isn’t easy, but I know it’s right. Most importantly, I know that I am happy. 

Thank you for your continued support of Hungry Haley ☺️ 

PS - the more I re-read this, the more it sounds like a goodbye. It’s not! It’s just a shift of focus. As much as this is a food and fitness blog, it’s a lifestyle blog. So, this is a shift towards the life component, and given that my life is already so much about food and fitness, what is really going to change? ❤️

Sourdough Guide: How to Make a Sourdough Loaf Step-by-Step

So, you’ve grown your starter, stocked up on flour, and now you’re ready to bake a loaf of rustic, crusty sourdough bread. But, how? It’s not as easy as mixing together flour, water, and salt, waiting for it to rise, and baking it until golden brown. However, it is simple and it is so worth the time required. In this post, I’ll walk you through each step of making my favorite loaf - the Sourdough Country Loaf by Amy Duska of Little Spoon Farm. In the last few weeks, I’ve made this recipe several times, changing one or two variables each time to alter the flavor, texture, crust, etc. and to gain a better understanding of the purpose behind each step of the sourdough-bread-making process. Let’s get started!

Starter

Here, we begin by stirring together 12-15 grams of our active, bubbly starter with 50 grams each of all-purpose flour and room temperature water, and letting this sit in an airtight container for 4-12 hours. The recipe specifies 12 grams of starter, but I’ve used up to 15 grams because my scale isn’t that precise and I’m too lazy to scoop out 3 tiny grams of starter. All but once, I have let this mixture sit for 12 hours. In the most recent loaf I made, I tried letting this mixture sit for just 5-6 hours and the loaf didn’t rise quite as much. The trade-off here is that letting the starter prep sit overnight allows for greater activation and therefore yields a more well-risen loaf, but a longer process (8 extra hours… even if you’re asleep while that’s happening). Letting the starter prep sit for 5-6 hours, on the other hand, leaves it with less time to activate to its full potential and therefore yields a less well-risen loaf. I prefer and recommend letting it sit overnight, or for as close to 12 hours as possible. It’s worth it!

Autolyse

After 4-12 hours, the starter prep is mixed with water and flour to begin the autolyse stage. Scientifically speaking, this word is broken down into “auto” and “lysis”, which translates to the natural or automatic breakdown of something. In this case, it refers to the yeast in the starter prep feeding on the sugar from the starches in the flour, and an enzyme called protease breaking down some of the proteins in the flour. This recipes calls for 100 grams of the starter prep to be mixed with 330 grams of water and 500 total grams of flour - 450 grams of all-purpose and 50 grams of whole-wheat. After 1-2 times following this recipe exactly, I experimented with different ratios of flour. My favorite is 300-350 grams of all-purpose flour and 150-200 grams of whole-wheat flour. Once mixed into a shaggy dough, this sits at room temperature, covered, for 1 hour. To reduce waste, use a bowl with an attachable lid. Or, use a small square of plastic wrap - only what you need! - and save it to reuse throughout the entire process, rather than tearing off a new piece at each step.

In the meantime, stir together 30 grams of warm water and 10-15 grams of salt in a small bowl, and let the salt dissolve before it’s added to the dough in the next step. The recipes calls for 10 grams, but I’ve added up to 15 and found it didn’t make much of a difference in the saltiness or texture of the loaf.

Salt

After one hour, the 30 grams of water + 10-15 grams of salt is added to the dough. At first, the dough will feel tough and stiff, and you’ll need to sort of poke or pinch the salt water into the dough. It makes that mushy-gushy sound that some equate to nails on a chalkboard, but I equate to bowls of mac n’ cheese from my childhood, so I enjoy it. If you hate it, well, it must be endured here because that salt water has got to well-incorporated.

Once the dough is smooth, cover it again and let it rest at room temperature for another hour.

Bulk Fermentation

Second to slicing the finished loaf open and slathering a piece with butter, this is my favorite part! Bulk fermentation is the first fermentation process in bread-making. At this very important stage, we’ve finished mixing the dough and, from here on out, all we’ll really be doing is folding and lightly shaping the dough. To begin folding, gently pull the dough up at one side and fold it over. Turn the bowl 90 degrees, pull the dough up at the next side, fold it over, and repeat this two more times. Perform three sets of four folds, as described, 30 minutes apart. Between each set of folds, cover the dough and let it sit at room temperature. Watch Amy’s video on this recipe for a better visual of what this looks like. With each fold, the dough will tighten and make it more difficult to pull it up and fold it over, so don’t worry if the first fold is more complete the third or fourth in each set, or from the first set to the third set.

After the final set of folds, cover the dough and it let sit at room temperature for 2-3 hours.

Shape and Second Rise

Now, we’re onto the first shape and the second rise. If you have a bench scraper, great! You’ll be using it here. If not, your hands will work just fine (that’s what I use). Turn the dough out onto a lightly floured surface and shape it into a round. This may sound a little vague, so you can watch Amy’s video to see how she does it, or just do as I do - gently pull the edges down and underneath until the dough is round and smooth. It doesn’t need to be perfect, as this is only the first shape. Cover and let it sit on the counter for 20-30 minutes.

For the second shape, you’ll work the dough similarly to how you did in the bulk fermentation. Gently pull one side of the dough up and fold it over on top of the dough. Turn the dough 90 degrees, or just grab from another edge if you can imagine the dough being a square, and repeat until all 4 edges have been folded over. You’ll notice what looks like a seam where all the edges have been folded over, and now you’ll flip the dough over so that seam is underneath and the smooth part of the dough is on top. Gently tuck the dough underneath itself by using your hands to push it away an inch or 2 and pull it towards you an inch or 2. Soon, you’ll notice the smooth top tightening and smoothing even more than before. This is helping to form the crust.

If you have a bread proofing basket, wonderful! You’ll be using it here. If not, grab a 100% cotton towel and a large bowl. Lay the towel flat on the counter and dust it heavily - heavily - with flour. I try to rub the flour into the towel to make sure the dough doesn’t absorb it all as it rests overnight and then stick to the towel in the morning when you go to bake it. I’ve had that happen to me before, and I learned quickly how important a well-floured towel is. Transfer the dough round to the towel, seam-side up. Cover the dough round with the plastic wrap that you have hopefully saved from earlier and then loosely wrap the towel around the dough. Place the wrapped dough into the bowl and then into the fridge to rest overnight or up to 36 hours.

Score and Bake

After 12 hours, or when you’re ready to bake, preheat the oven to 500 degrees F. Heat a large Dutch oven with the lid on for 25-30 minutes at 500F before baking. Meanwhile, remove the dough from the fridge, transfer it to a large square of parchment paper, and use a bread lame or sharp knife to score the dough down the center. You can also score it down the sides, following the edges of the dough, or just down one side. Let it rest, covered, on the counter for 30 minutes.

Once the Dutch oven has heated, lower the oven temperature to 450F and lift the parchment paper with the dough round into the Dutch oven. Cover with the lid and bake for 25 minutes. This creates steam within the Dutch oven to help lift the bread and create the crust. Then, remove the lid and bake for another 20-25 minutes, or until the crust is a dark golden brown.

Cool and Slice

The recipe instructs to let the loaf cool down for 2 hours before cutting it open. Let me tell you - of the 7-8 loaves I’ve made, only 1 has made it the full 2 hours before I sliced it open. Cooling makes the slicing easier (no burnt fingertips) and finishes the baking process 100%. Cooling it for, let’s say, 30 minutes as I have done several times, makes the slicing a little more difficult and tends to snag and pull the interior of the bread, creating a messier cut. As long as your crust is a deep golden brown, it’s fully baked, so if you’re impatient like myself cooling for 1/4th of the time instructed won’t make a huge difference in the texture of the loaf.

Bottom line: if you can wait, wait (more power to ya!). If you can’t, well, I understand.

There you have it! How to make a rustic, crusty loaf of sourdough bread. I hope this post answered as many questions as possible, and if there are any remaining questions, don’t hesitate to leave them in the comments section below, and I’ll answer them ASAP.

Happy bread-baking!

For more sourdough information:

How to Make Your Own Starter

Don’t “Discard”; Do This Instead!

Sourdough FAQs

Thoughts: Something Exciting (finally!)

Buried beneath all the sudden changes of 2019, the final exams and research papers, the hopeful blog posts, the hours spent working another job, and the piles of more financially realistic job applications, a goal I set in 2018 - to become a certified personal trainer - hasn’t been reached. Nonetheless, it’s remained a goal, and challenging my physical and mental strength through exercise and nutrition has only grown stronger as a passion. 

When life finally forced me to sit down and think long and hard about a career and what I want to do - what lights my fire, what ignites my passion - it wasn’t food blogging or marketing or cooking or baking. I thumbed through job postings on LinkedIn one day in March (actually, it was March 10th, and yes I remember the exact date) and I came across a position with a corporate wellness program management company. After learning more about the company and the position during the first interview, I envisioned myself in the position with the most clarity, confidence, and excitement I could ever remember. 

And then… well, then COVID-19 happened and the position was put on hold due to government restrictions. I was disappointed, discouraged, sad, and angry, and I still am sometimes. This time, amidst another round of unexpected change, I was determined to not let the unfortunate circumstances bury my goals. I have no idea what will happen next - next week, next month, even in the next 6 or 12 months. Those outcomes are largely out of my control. However, I have control over my time management, my effort, and my goals and I will not let this one escape me. So… 

I am becoming a NASM Certified Personal Trainer! Assuming I pass my exam in June, that is. With the extra time in my schedule to study the material, I should be well-equipped and confident when that day comes. In the meantime, between chunks of time studying, I’ll be designing a couple new pages here to fit in workouts and nutrition-focused blog posts. 

Geez, now that I’ve shared this, I feel like I can’t not pass. The pressure is on. Above all, I’m just excited to finally begin the pursuit of what I’m most passionate about. This is what lights me up and ignites my passion. This makes me feel like… me. And I can’t wait to share that here! 

Photo by Karly Kreative.

Sourdough Guide: FAQ's About All Things Sourdough

I’m here to answer all the miscellaneous questions regarding sourdough starters and baking with sourdough! I’ve gained my knowledge through reading tips and recipes from experts, and using those to practice baking with my own bubbly starter. If you haven’t yet made your own starter, here’s how!

Exactly how much do I need to feed it everyday? 

There is no magic amount of flour and water with which you can feed your starter to make it active and bubbly. As long as you feed it equal parts flour and water, the exact amount doesn’t matter. Typically, I feed mine anywhere between 50-75 grams of each. A scale is helpful here because the amounts need to be in grams, weight, not cups or tablespoons. A starter fed equal parts flour and water is also known as a 100% hydration starter, which is the most common in many sourdough recipes and usually the most successful for beginner-level sourdough bakers.

After I feed it, when can I use it? 

I wait 2-3 hours after feeding my starter everyday before I use it to bake to allow the starter to activate further and ensure that it is at its peak activity level when I’m ready to use it. 

When should I refrigerate my starter? How often do I need to feed it once it’s in the fridge?

So, your starter is active and bubbly, and you’re feeding it daily at around the same time. You can leave it out in a warm environment and continue feeding it everyday, separating half into another container. Or, you can stick it in the fridge and feed it just a couple times a week. This is my move when I don’t plan on using my starter for a while and don’t want to think about feeding it everyday. If you’re running low on flour and can’t get your hands on some more for a couple days, place your starter in the fridge and take it out when you have more flour. 

Another option is, when you feed and separate your starter, place one container in the fridge and leave the other out on the counter. This gives you the freedom to use starter as you please, while saving some for future use. Currently, I have one jar out on my kitchen counter that I am using to test new bread recipes, and I have two - yes, two - jars in my fridge that I am feeding 1-2x/week (because I have that much starter). 

When you’re ready to use your refrigerated starter, take it out of the fridge 2-3 days before you plan to use it, place in it a warm environment (70-75 degrees F) and begin stirring and feeding it regularly again to ensure it’s active and bubbly. When you first take it out and stir it, it’ll be thicker than you may expect. This is normal - it’ll lighten up and thin out when you resume regular feedings at room temperature.

How strict is the feeding schedule? What if I feed it an hour or two early or late one day?

To remind yourself of the feeding schedule, keep a tab with the time you started feeding it on the container and/or set an alarm or reminder on your phone each day. Work around your schedule - if you go into work at 8 AM and come home at 6 PM each day, don’t start feeding your starter in that window of time because you’ll need to maintain that. Instead, feed it at 7 AM or 7 PM to better fit your schedule and ensure that you’ll be able to feed it on time each day. That being said, I have missed my feeding time once or twice by an hour or two and haven’t encountered any problems. I wouldn’t recommend missing your feeding time by more than two hours, though! 

I’m still a little confused about “discard”. What is that? Do I absolutely need to throw half of it away everyday?

“Discard” is the process of removing some or half of your starter before feeding it each day. Most people resort to throwing this away and only feeding the other part of starter remaining, but I find this awfully wasteful. Instead, separate your starter into two containers. Now, you have options: 

Feed both containers and store one in the fridge for future use, and leave the other at room temperature for more immediate use. Use some of it to bake a loaf of bread, and use some to bake brown butter cinnamon rolls, fluffy English muffins, the best homemade pretzels, and a quick, crispy cast-iron skillet pizza crust.

Feed only one and use the other to bake cookies, brownies, biscuits, or banana bread. This portion of starter is much less active as the other fed portion, so I wouldn’t recommend using this to bake something like bread or cinnamon rolls that should be risen and fluffy with noticeable sourdough flavor. Need more ideas? 

Feed both containers, keep one for yourself and give the other to a friend who has been wanting to experiment with sourdough! 

Can I buy sourdough starter?

You can! Some local bakeries will sell small amounts of theirs, and these starters have most likely been in their families for decades. If you like their bread, it’s safe to say you’ll enjoy using their starter to make your own bread. Just give your favorite bread bakery a call and ask them if they’d be willing to share a little bit of their starter with you. Otherwise, King Arthur Flour sells theirs online and will ship it directly to you!

Is sourdough healthier than yeasted bread?

It depends on your definition of “healthier”, as well as the types of flour you use in the bread. There isn’t anything “unhealthy” about yeasted bread - it contains the same ingredients as sourdough bread. The only main difference between the two breads is the source of the yeast. In yeasted bread, the yeast is commercially produced and dried, to be re-activated within a couple hours when mixed with warm liquid and a touch of sugar. In sourdough bread, the yeast is naturally present in the flour and in the air around us, and this yeast and the enzymes in the flour partially digest some of the starches and proteins, producing carbon dioxide in the form of bubbles. This process is called fermentation and produces a type of lactic acid bacteria that has proven beneficial for the human gut - Lactobacilli. Read this post for more information on the benefits of bacteria produced from this fermentation.

What’s the flotation test for? What if my starter doesn't float when I’m ready to bake with it?

The flotation test is typically performed before using an active starter to ensure that it is optimally active for baking. Though I have never tried this, I have read about it and know how it's supposed to be done - take a small amount - about a pinch - of starter and place it into a bowl of water. If it floats to the top, it’s ready. If it sinks, it’s not quite ready yet. Like I said, I’ve never tested my starter this way. Given the amount of bubbles I see in my starter everyday, I trust that it’s active and ready for use. If you see the same signs in yours, I’d say you could trust that yours is ready, too, without performing the float test.

Can I make sourdough bread with all whole-wheat flour?

Sure! Keep in mind that, because of the density of whole-wheat, the bread will also be dense. When I bake bread, I use a combination of whole-wheat flour and all-purpose flour or bread flour to make sure the loaf is light, airy, and hearty. I’ve baked loaves with 100% all-purpose flour and found that there was very little flavor and the texture was too light and airy. Adding a portion - usually about 30-50% - of whole-wheat flour added just enough density and nuttiness to improve the texture and flavor. 

How can I convert a yeasted recipe to sourdough?

Well, you’ve got to be willing to do some math. Remember, everything is done in weight in grams, so you’ll need to do some conversions if the recipe you are hoping to use isn’t providing the conversion for you. It’s simple, though, assuming your starter is 100% hydration, meaning you’ve fed it equal parts flour and water. Now, look at how much yeast the recipe calls for. One packet of yeast is about 2 1/4 teaspoons of instant yeast, which is about 5-7 grams. Thankfully, the blogger behind True Sourdough has already figured out that 5-7 grams of instant yeast is equivalent to 100 grams of 100% hydration sourdough starter. And since you’ve fed this starter equal parts flour and water, in this 100 gram portion, you have 50 grams of flour and 50 grams of water that you’ll use in place of the instant yeast. Convert the rest of the ingredients in the recipe to grams (weigh it out yourself for better accuracy, or Google it) and then subtract 50 grams from the flour and 50 grams from the water or other liquid (i.e. milk, buttermilk, beer, etc) to account for the 100 grams of starter you’ll be using.

The other important thing to keep in mind is that sourdough starter performs the same intended purpose as instant yeast, but it requires longer proofing times in order to do so. With instant yeast, the first rise is usually two hours and the second is usually one, both at room temperature or a little warmer. With starter, increase the first rise to four hours at room temperature and the second to two. For the second rise, you can refrigerate overnight or for 12-36 hours (for most recipes, but not all) to prolong the rise for the sake of time and stronger sourdough flavor.

Just because a recipe uses sourdough starter in place of the instant yeast doesn’t necessarily mean the finished product will boast the same fermentation benefits as a loaf of sourdough bread. In order for the starter do its job, it needs proper rising times (stated above) and optimal living conditions - not too warm or cold, and not too sweet. According to True Sourdough, a sugar content higher than 10% will inhibit the fermentation process, thus leaving your product void of the fermentation benefits. That isn’t a bad thing and doesn’t mean you shouldn’t bake banana bread and cookies with your leftover starter! It just means it won’t taste like sourdough bread and contain the beneficial probiotics. Those are more abundantly found in soft, fluffy sourdough English muffins and a good crusty loaf of sourdough bread.

Thoughts on Quarantine... and Sourdough (of course)

Sourdough starter - often thought of as an intimidating, difficult-to-control baking project to take on only when you can dedicate your full attention and all your time (and flour) to it. For me, though, it’s the least intimidating, most controllable, and most comforting thing around me right now. Several times, I've tiptoed on the edge of tears in moments following pure joy spent with my family, or breathing in fresh air outside. Life and emotions - both of which belong to me - seem unpredictable and uncontrollable right now. 

I had two promising job opportunities for which the final interviews were being scheduled the week before the coronavirus plagued the U.S. I had just started a relationship, the first one I’ve truly believed in since… well, it’s been a long time. I was finally settling into life in this new-ish-to-me state of Minnesota after the cold winter snow had melted, restaurant patios were gearing up for their Spring openings and my list of places to visit and things to do and explore was growing in pages by the day. For the first time in - wow - almost 2 years, I felt genuinely happy and excited for what was to come. And in (what feels like) an instant, those job opportunities closed like the doors to my favorite coffee shops. Suddenly, I didn’t know when I’d see my guy again and we were forced to jump into long-distance and the whole deeper side of a relationship that involves talking about feelings, family struggles, job losses, and loneliness within 3 weeks. And my list? Pointless because restaurants and bars (which constituted most of the list) and popular parks had closed. 

Everything, upside down and inside out and… closed and restricted. Stay home, reduce contact, refrain from frequent grocery store trips (which used to be my Monday-Friday hobby and part of what makes blogging and cooking/baking such a passion). So, what can I control? What can I lean on for joy, comfort, reassurance?

Even though many, many parts of life feel terrifying, there are parts that haven’t caught COVID-19. For me, that’s my sourdough starter. It’s always there for me, tucked away cozy on my kitchen counter, needing nothing more than a small and simple meal and gentle stir once a day, always bubbling with recipe opportunities - Pretzels! Bagels! Biscuits! Cinnamon rolls! Each one brings me joy and comfort throughout the entire process, from imagining to levain-ing to rising to to eating. 

Each one teaches me patience and trust in the slow passing of time - the arts that must be mastered in the sourdough process. Just because my loaves, English muffins, and pretzels haven’t flopped (yet) doesn’t mean I’ve nailed the patiently waiting and trusting part, though. Like Brené Brown says, “Trust is built in the small moments.” With each recipe and each proof within the recipe, the dough rises over a period of 4-8 hours, much longer than what’s required for yeast-risen doughs. The loaves, muffins, and pretzels are made with slightly different doughs and consequently show slightly different signs of rising. Patience is built in the waiting, and trust is strengthened in the small risings.

This quarantine makes time pass more slowly than ever, and demands of me my patience and trust as each day brings a new set of updates, changes, restrictions, cases, and sadly, deaths. I’m challenged in every way - some make me feel tall and confident, while others leave me feeling small and powerless. Some make me feel like I do when my dough has risen properly and doubled in size, and others leave me feeling as flat and useless as an unfed sourdough starter.

In the former moments, I embrace the joy, confidence, and faith. In the latter moments, I lean on long walks with deep breaths of fresh air, family dinners and movie nights, time in the kitchen, and my sourdough starter. Though I can’t plan any events in my calendar or create a work schedule each week, and I can’t look forward to a happy hour at a new restaurant on the patio or take my time strolling through the produce section perusing my dinner options, here’s what I can do: I can hug my loved ones (the ones in my home, at least), I can move my body in ways that feel good, I can stand in the kitchen all day with my apron tied around my waist, and I can look forward to another process of imagining, leavein-ing, rising, and eating, where I savor simple, homemade joy and comfort.

Photo by Karly Ann Johnson.

Sourdough Guide: Don't "Discard"; Do This Instead

Kissing something loaded with delicious potential goodbye brings me the pain every cook knows. I refused to make sourdough for so long because the discarding seemed so wasteful (and I’m not the only baker who feels this way), until I did the math correctly and calculated that, actually, there is no need to throw starter in the trash everyday. “Discard” is the wrong word to use to explain the process of caring for a sourdough starter. There is nothing bad or dead about your starter to necessitate tossing half in the bin. The purpose of this discard is to prevent your starter from growing and growing and growing until it fills every nook and cranny in your kitchen because that would be… stinky and sticky. But, there is another way to control the starter’s growth without wasting half of it. 

So, what should you do with it? What’s a more sustainable and practical way to feed, maintain, and utilize your starter everyday? 

Once your starter is active and bubbly - after about five days of development - begin separating it, not discarding it. Everyday (or 1-2x/week if yours is refrigerated), you’ll feed the starter equal parts flour and water. It will immediately grow due to the added flour and water, and then after a few hours, it will bubble and grow even more. This is when separation (previously known as “discard”) becomes essential so that your starter doesn’t ooze out of its storage container, or so that you don’t need to construct a giant sourdough starter storage container. 

Here’s how I do it. 

Daily: 

1. Feed the starter equal parts flour and water. Depending on how much starter I want - considering the recipes I have planned in the coming week or two - I will feed it anywhere from 50-100 grams each of flour and water. 

2. Stir well, cover, and let the starter begin to bubble for the next 2-3 hours. When I notice bubbles forming a thick layer on the surface (this is easy to monitor through a 16-32 oz.  glass mason jar), I separate a portion of the starter and transfer this to another storage container. OR, I’ve also separated the starter into two separate jars before feeding, then fed both of them in their individual jars the same way I always would - equal parts flour and water.

3. Now, both containers have been fed and will continue to be fed on the same schedule. For example, I began feeding my starter at 12 PM daily. When it grew significantly (and once it did actually ooze out of its container - oops!), I waited a few hours and separated half of this starter into another jar. 

4. At this point, I can place one or both of the jars in the fridge to slow the growth and fermentation, and to give myself time to take a break if I don’t want to feed it regularly everyday for a certain amount of time. If I choose to refrigerate, I’ll want to plan ahead - a few days before I want to make something with the starter, I’ll take it out of the fridge and resume the regular feeding schedule as I did before to ensure reactivation. 

As long as it’s fed regularly and kept in optimal living conditions, a sourdough starter will not lose its flavor or its power. Keep it alive, keep making bread, and don’t be afraid to venture out of the bread neighborhood with recipes like pizza crusts, biscuits, English muffins, pretzels, cinnamon rolls, and more. Your starter has so much potential! For more recipe inspiration, follow my Sourdough Tips and Recipes Pinterest board.

Sourdough Guide: How to Make Your Own Starter

It’s tangy. It’s trendy. It’s traditional. And it’s now my favorite bread-making method - it’s sourdough! Four weeks ago, I took on the challenge of making my own starter and have been making all things sourdough since then. Here’s my guide to making and maintaining your own starter.

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What is sourdough? 

Packets of active-dry and instant yeast line grocery store shelves these days, and they’re commonly used in bread-making. However simple and convenient they may be, they aren’t essential in the traditional way of making bread. Before these advancements, bread-bakers utilized wild yeast grown by mixing equal parts flour and water, and lots of time, and this became what we now know as a sourdough starter. Wild yeast may sound a little scary and dangerous, but it doesn’t need to be. It’s simple, safe, and the only way to achieve a stunning loaf of traditional and nutritious, tangy and crusty sourdough bread. 

This sourdough starter - also called a “pre-ferment” - once it's alive and regularly cared for, can be used in a wide variety of recipes - waffles, sweet breads, focaccia, pizza crusts, and even biscuits and English muffins. Now that I’ve grown my starter, understood how to care for it, and used it as the backbone of flavor and texture in several recipes, it’s a staple in my kitchen and I’m not going back to store-bought yeast.

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What are the benefits of sourdough?

Not only is a starter convenient and simple, it’s beneficial for digestion and packed with nutrition. Through natural fermentation, the wild yeasts present in the flour break down other components in the flour, like the protein gluten, for example. Over a period of time, the yeast grows and multiplies, partially breaking down the flour proteins and creating air bubbles. Some who are sensitive to gluten have an easier time digesting sourdough bread because of the partial breakdown that occurs through fermentation. Though not everyone has a sensitivity to gluten, in particular, we can still thank the fermentation process for this pre-digestion - it gives our digestive system a little bit of a break, you could say. Additionally, this fermentation produces probiotics - the good bacteria - which benefit the gut microbiome (7). 

Though many probiotics don’t survive in extreme heat (like a 450F degree oven for bread-baking), the lactic acid bacteria that produce them do survive and live symbiotically and actually far outnumber the wild yeast. This bacteria - Lactobacillus - along with Bifidobacteria are vital for fermentation and stability in the bread (1), as well as the tangy flavor characteristic of sourdough like in yogurt and buttermilk. It also provides the probiotic benefits - improved digestion (4, 5, 6), alleviation of lactose intolerance (in some people, not all) (3), and a strengthened immune system (2). 

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Ready to make your own starter?

First, let’s talk necessities because there are a few essential ingredients and small pieces of equipment needed for this process to go smoothly. The most important necessity is flour, obviously, but with so many varieties on the shelf today, how do we know which is best for making and maintaining a starter? For making bread and all those other sourdough recipes? All-purpose flour is the most reliable for starting out (starting a starter lol). Next in line is bread flour - this varietal has a slightly higher protein content than all-purpose flour, but is still reliable for the starter process. Whole-wheat pastry flour and whole-wheat flour work well, too, and I’ve used these in my starters without a hitch. They do contain a bit more fiber and protein than all-purpose flour, so they absorb more moisture. I recommend using all-purpose or bread flour for the first couple weeks when you develop your starter to avoid any potential issues that may arise from using whole-wheat flours due to the difference in absorbency. 

Equipment needed 

• Wooden spoon or rubber spatula (I like the spatula the best) 

  • According to King Arthur Flour, stainless steel utensils will not harm the bacteria in your sourdough starter. However, copper and aluminum can, so stay away from these. I prefer using a rubber spatula for mixing because I find that the starter and doughs release more easily. 

• Glass bowl with airtight lid or plastic wrap and rubber band

  • A glass bowl is handy because it allows you to see how much the starter grows over the five days you are developing it. Bubbles are the best indicator of activity, which you can see on the surface of the starter, so if you don’t have a glass bowl, you’ll still be able to monitor. You can also use large Mason jars, but you’ll need to separate the starter more frequently as these tend to be smaller than large glass bowls. 

• Kitchen scale (highly recommended for accurate measurements)

  • Get. A. Scale. From here on out, my sourdough recipes will be written using grams because this is the most accurate measurement for bread recipes, and it’s how many of the bread recipes I’ve used are written. My kitchen scale is ancient and made of plastic, and yours doesn’t need to be anything fancy, either. It’s a small investment that will serve you for a long time!

Making a sourdough starter is usually a five-day process. Mine was bubbly and alive and well on day five, but depending on the atmosphere in your kitchen, yours could take another day or two to reach the same level of activity. Ideally, a sourdough starter thrives in a warm-ish room temperature of about 70F-75F. While you’re developing the starter, do your best to maintain this temperature wherever you store it. After it’s fully developed and bubbly, you can store it in the fridge and feed it every few days. The colder temperature in the fridge slows the fermentation process and therefore slightly reduces the starter’s activity level. When you’re ready to use the starter, take it out of the fridge 2-3 days in advance and begin feeding it everyday to ensure that it’s active and bubbly as it was before you put it in the fridge. 

For the five days of starter development, you will not be discarding/separating any of the starter, as it utilizes the nutrients from all the flour to grow! After the fifth day, you can begin discarding/separating to prevent your starter from becoming life-size, which I will discuss shortly. 

• Day 1: 

  • Stir together equal parts all-purpose flour and water in a large glass bowl until combined. Cover with an airtight lid and store, undisturbed, at 70F-75F for 24 hours. 

  • 75 g all-purpose flour + 75 g room temperature water 

• Day 2: 

  • Uncover the bowl, and stir in another round of equal parts flour and water. Cover with an airtight lid and store, undisturbed, at 70F-75F for 24 hours. 

  • 75 g all-purpose flour + 75 g room temperature water 

  • On day 2, you might start to see some bubbling activity. If you don’t, that’s okay! 

• Days 3-4:

  • Uncover the bowl, and stir in another round of equal parts flour and water. Cover with an airtight lid and store, undisturbed, at 70F-75F for 24 hours. 

  • 75 g all-purpose flour + 75 g room temperature water 

  • During these 2 days, you should start seeing bubbles on the surface of the starter. By day 4, it should have grown significantly in size. 

• Day 5:

  • Use it! Your starter is ready for baking at this point. If you have a recipe you’re ready to bake, simply separate the amount of starter it calls for and leave the rest in the container at room temperature. Feed the portion of starter you don’t use just as you did during days 1-4. 

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“Discarding” (just separating!)

If you’ve done any research at all on sourdough until this point, you’ve heard the term “discard” - this is what kept me from making sourdough for so long, actually. To “discard” or throw away half the starter each day seemed like such a waste. Then, it clicked - what everyone means by “discard” is basically just divide or separate the starter to prevent it from growing into the size of a small human. Most bakers and recipes refer to any of the starter not used for baking a loaf of sourdough bread as “discard”. This was interesting to me because I actually found everything I made other than an actual loaf of bread more enjoyable than the bread itself. And, most bread recipes call for a scant 1 tablespoon of starter, whereas the recipes for “discard” in cookbooks and on websites use far more starter than that (which means more flavor!). To me, this seems backwards, but oh well. 

Anyway, here’s how it works. On day 5, you’ll start the “discard” process. Have a recipe or two in mind, and then divide/separate the amount of starter needed for those recipes. Leave the remaining starter in the original bowl or storage container, feed it, and place it in the fridge for future use. Don’t throw anything away! Just repurpose it. 

The possibilities for this “discard” starter are absolutely endless. Biscuits, muffins, waffles, pancakes, cinnamon rolls, cookies - you name it, you can make it with your discard starter. Surprisingly, I liked these better than the loaves of bread I made with my starter. These “discard” recipes (again, just recipes other than sourdough bread that use sourdough starter!) use more starter than recipes for loaves of bread do, so the flavor is much more pronounced. 

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What should I do with my “discard”?

First and foremost, don’t call it discard! This implies it should be thrown away, and it certainly should not. 

The first recipes I tried with my starter were for pizza crust and English muffins. Of the two, I’ve given the English muffins all the tender love and care, and after three or four trials, I came up with what I think is the perfect recipe, and requires just whole-wheat and all-purpose flour, buttermilk, salt, and your sourdough starter. They’re fluffy on the inside, with a slightly chewy exterior, the essential nooks and crannies, and a distinct tangy sourdough flavor. Click HERE for more sourdough starter recipes.

The easiest, softest, flakiest sourdough biscuits! Here’s the recipe I used. Fold the dough over on itself again and again and again - you’ll get lots of flaky layers.

These English muffins are my absolute favorite. I use sourdough starter and buttermilk - the flavor is unmistakable and so. stinkin’. good. I’ll post the recipe next week!

Of course, some sourdough cinnamon rolls needed to happen. I used this recipe from The Clever Carrot - delicious! They did dry out a bit more quickly than I expected, but maybe I baked them for too long. I’m not totally sure, but I do know that the rolls are good! Make them. Do it.

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Ready to make some bread?

Great! If this is your first homemade sourdough bread experience, I recommend using this guide from NYT Cooking by Claire Saffitz. She shows photos and explains each step in the long process, which makes it all feel less intimidating.

References:

1. Sourdough Science. (n.d.). Retrieved April 17, 2020, from https://modernistcuisine.com/2018/09/sourdough-science/

2. Herich, R., & Levkut, M. (2002). Lactic acid bacteria, probiotics, and immune system. Vet. Med. , 6, 169–180. Retrieved from http://vri.cz/docs/vetmed/47-6-169.pdf

3. Pakdaman, M. N., Udani, J. K., Molina, J. P., & Shahani, M. (2015). The effects of the DDS-1 strain of lactobacillus on symptomatic relief for lactose intolerance - a randomized, double-blind, placebo-controlled, crossover clinical trial. Nutrition Journal, 15(1). doi: 10.1186/s12937-016-0172-y

4. Waller, P. A., Gopal, P. K., Leyer, G. J., Ouwehand, A. C., Reifer, C., Stewart, M. E., & Miller, L. E. (2011). Dose-response effect of Bifidobacterium lactis HN019 on whole gut transit time and functional gastrointestinal symptoms in adults. Scandinavian Journal of Gastroenterology, 46(9), 1057–1064. doi: 10.3109/00365521.2011.584895

5. Agrawal, A., Houghton, L. A., Morris, J., Reilly, B., Schlumberger, A., Jakob, S., & Whorwell, P. J. (2009). Clinical trial: the effects of a fermented milk product containing Bifidobacterium lactis DN-173 010 on abdominal distension and gastrointestinal transit in irritable bowel syndrome with constipation. Ailment Pharmacology and Therapeutics, 29(1), 104–114. doi: 10.1111/j.1365-2036.2008.03853.x.

6. Miller, L. E., & Ouwenhand, A. C. (2013). Probiotic supplementation decreases intestinal transit time: Meta-analysis of randomized controlled trials. World Journal of Gastroenterology, 19(29), 4718–4725. doi: 10.3748/wjg.v19.i29.4718

7. The Probiotic Effects of Lactic Acid Bacteria. (n.d.). Retrieved April 17, 2020, from https://bcdairy.ca/milk/articles/the-probiotic-effects-of-lactic-acid-bacteria

Baking Staples, Part 1: Flours

Welcome to part one of a new series on my best and most trustworthy cooking and baking tips the blog! This post is a detailed breakdown of the most commonly used flours in my baking recipes - why I use each one, what types of recipes it’s best for, where to find it, some nerdy things about it, and any alternative ingredients that can be used in its place. 

Whole-wheat: In this flour, the entire wheat grain is ground and mixed in. That means every component from the bran on the outside, to the endosperm on the inside, and the germ at the very center. By including all of these components, whole-wheat flour retains more nutrients, like fiber, protein, and B vitamins. Of the wheat flours, this is usually the most dense because of the protein (gluten being one of them) and fiber - the gluten is responsible for maintaining structure and the fiber absorbs most of the moisture in the recipe. 

Why and when I use it: I use this anywhere and everywhere! Even with the rise of grain-free and gluten-free flours, wheat flour is still likely the most widely used in many recipes because it’s been around for so long. Since this flour is a bit more dense with the fiber and protein, muffins and breads will typically come out less fluffy and a little more hearty than they would if they were made with all-purpose flour. I usually prefer this - especially the nutty flavor that accompanies the heartier texture - over the texture and flavor produced by all-purpose flour. The same goes for cookies and brownies made with whole-wheat flour, and because these are more dense by nature, whole-wheat flour lends itself well to these baked goods. I love whole-wheat flour in my favorite Peanut Butter Chocolate Chunk Cookies, and in these Spiced Apple Hand Pies!

Where to find it: Almost all grocery and convenience stores carry whole-wheat flour. 

Substitutions: The most important factor to consider when substituting another flour for whole-wheat is the absorbance, since whole-wheat flour is one of the most absorbent of all grain-based flours. Your best bet for substitution would be all-purpose flour because it comes from the same grain, but it’s just missing a few components like the protein and fiber. When I switch from whole-wheat flour to all-purpose, I make sure to increase the amount of all-purpose flour used because it absorbs less moisture than whole-wheat flour. This is where it’s helpful to know what a batter or dough should look like so that you can confidently judge whether you’ve added enough flour. In my Comfort Cookies, when I switch from whole-wheat pastry flour (50% whole-wheat flour and 50% all-purpose flour, which I’ll talk about later) to all-purpose, I increase from 1 ½ cups flour to about 1 ¾ cups, or even closer to 2 whole cups of flour. Refer to my Comfort Cookies IG highlight to see the correct dough consistency so that you can make this conversion if needed. 

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All-purpose: On the other end of the spectrum lies all-purpose flour. This is the most refined form of wheat flour - the bran and the germ are removed in the milling process, so the flour retains very little protein and fiber. When used for baking, it yields a more tender, moist baked good (mmm, moist). When I purchase all-purpose flour, I make sure to look for the unbleached version. As flour ages, it bleaches naturally, meaning it turns from its original yellow color to the off-white color we’re used to seeing in the bag. To speed up this process, bleaching agents like benzoyl peroxide and chlorine gas are added. Whether these are harmful to our bodies, I don’t know, but I don’t like the sound of them and I’d rather use a naturally bleached flour. 

Why and when I use it: If I want a classic baked good - like better-than-Cinnabon homemade cinnamon rolls and super fluffy muffins or sweet breads - I’ll use all-purpose flour. I’ve always used this for homemade bread and pizza dough (sometimes with a small amount of whole-wheat mixed in) and right now, I’m using it to make my own sourdough starter. Though I tend to use whole-wheat or whole-wheat pastry flour, I keep a bag of all-purpose flour on hand just in case. To yield a classic, crumbly, and tender shortbread crust, I use all-purpose flour in these Cranberry Crumble Bars!

Where to find it: Anywhere. I don’t know of a grocery or convenience store that doesn’t carry all-purpose flour. 

Substitutions: In any recipe that calls for all-purpose flour, whole-wheat flour can be subbed for at least 50% of it. Use caution if you’re thinking about using 100% whole-wheat flour - remember the higher content of protein and fiber. For breads, muffins, and the like, I suggest making the recipe as is with 100% all-purpose flour at first to understand its intended structure, flavor, and texture. After you’ve done that, you can move forward with substitutions. Consider your desired structure, flavor and texture - for a denser texture and nuttier flavor, sub in some whole-wheat flour. Also remember the moisture content - whole-wheat flour absorbs more moisture, so if you want extra gooey cookies made with some or all whole-wheat flour, you’ll need to add more moisture as you increase the amount of whole-wheat flour used. 

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Whole-wheat pastry: My favorite! You’ll see that most of my recipes call for this flour, and for a good reason. It’s a combination of 50% all-purpose flour and 50% whole-wheat flour, and I think it strikes the perfect balance of flavor and texture in so many baked goods. 

Why and when I use it: No need for redundancy here. I love it. I always use it. It keeps these Bakery-Style Carrot Cake Muffins nice and tender, and these Gingerbread Cinnamon Rolls fluffier than you’d imagine. Oh, and this Classic Chocolate Chip Banana Nut Bread - unbeatable. Watch my IG stories to learn how it’s made, and why it’s made the way it is!

Where to find it: In my experience, this version isn’t as widely available as whole-wheat or all-purpose. However, if you have both whole-wheat and all-purpose flour on hand, you can easily make it at home by combining equal parts of each flour. 

Substitutions: If a recipe calls for 2 cups of whole-wheat pastry flour, combine 1 cup of whole-wheat flour and 1 cup of all-purpose flour. Easy peasy. Again, you can substitute 100% whole-wheat or 100% all-purpose flour in place of whole-wheat pastry flour, as long as you consider the moisture content and desired texture and flavor of the baked good. 

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Oat: Wheat flour is usually my number one choice, and oat flour follows close behind in second place. I don’t do very much gluten-free baking, but when I do, I can rely on oat flour to act similarly to how wheat flour would in a traditional, non-gluten-free recipe - it absorbs moisture similarly, and is only slightly more dense. The lack of gluten usually makes for more tightly structured baked goods. 

Why and when I use it: With that in mind, I typically only use oat flour for recipes in which I want the texture to be a little more dense, like cookies, brownies, and other bars, and sometimes muffins and breads. If I’m feeling confident in the recipe (and myself - let’s be honest), I might add an extra egg and either decrease moisture from another wet ingredient or increase the flour to soak up the additional moisture from the extra egg - this will help make up for the lack of gluten. I have two absolutely delicious recipes that use oat flour: these Dark Chocolate Zucchini Bread Muffins and - a personal favorite in the Fall moths - these Pumpkin Blondies with Maple Cream Cheese Frosting.

Where to find it: Anywhere you can find Bob’s Red Mill, you can usually find oat flour. If it’s not on the shelves, grab a bag or container of oats instead and use a food processor or high-powered blender to pulse the oats into a flour-like consistency at home!

Substitutions: Depending on the recipe, gluten-free flour blends and sometimes coconut or almond flour can be substituted in for oat flour, if you can’t find it or prefer not to use it.

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Gluten-free flour blends: And, speaking of gluten-free, how about all those gluten-free flour blends? I don’t use these too often, so I’m no expert, but I do have experience and can tell you based on the ingredients in the flour blend how it will most likely perform in a recipe. So, the most popular blend is probably Bob’s Red Mill 1:1 Baking Flour blend. Made from sweet rice flour, brown rice flour, potato starch, sorghum flour, tapioca starch, and xanthan gum, this blend is made to be used in place of gluten-containing flours in traditional recipes. If you wanted to make my banana bread gluten-free, you’d probably achieve a texture most similar to the real thing by using this flour blend. Starches in the rice flours and potato and tapioca starch act in place of the gluten to do most of the binding work. The only thing missing here is the rise - gluten provides structure in a batter, and along with the air created by baking soda and acid, the bread/muffins/cake/whatever you’re making rises. This doesn’t happen at the same level when using gluten-free flour blends. 

When and why I use it: If I’m baking for someone who eats gluten-free and I absolutely must make something fluffy like a bread/muffin/cake/whatever, I’ll use this. Otherwise, whole-wheat pastry flour all day, baby. Though I haven’t experimented much with it, I’d bet with confidence you could easily sub this flour in my Banana Nut Scones!

Where to find it: Most grocery stores carry gluten-free flour blends these days. If not, order online! 

Substitutions: A gluten-free flour blend in and of itself is a substitution, so… why would one substitute a substitute… 

Coconut: Interesting fact I didn’t know until now: coconut flour is a byproduct of making coconut milk! The meat is soaked and then drained, and the pulp is dried and then ground into the coconut flour consistency. (Another interesting fact: this is still a refinement process, so technically, coconut flour is refined). More than any other macronutrient, fiber is abundant in coconut flour, along with small amounts of fat, carbohydrate, and protein. Such a high fiber content makes coconut flour highly absorbent - for every cup of all-purpose flour, ¼ cup coconut flour absorbs roughly the same amount of liquid. 

When and why I use it: Oh man. Coconut flour has sure given me a run for my money over the years. From cupcakes to banana breads to pancakes to muffins to cookies, I’ve tried it all with coconut flour and only a handful of times have I truly enjoyed the outcome. I guess I just don’t love the flavor of coconut, and to me, that is most pronounced in coconut flour. The several failures guided me towards a few successes - and some damn good successes, might I say. I prefer coconut flour when I’m making a baked good with a dense texture, like brownies and blondies. Coconut flour cookies, in my experience, have always come out too soft - I want crispy-edged, gooey-centered cookies with very little cakey-ness. So, I stick to these Salted Cashew Dark Chocolate Chunk Blondies and these Triple Chocolate Fudgey Black Bean Brownies. 

Substitutions: Well, I would most likely see a recipe made with coconut flour and want to make it with wheat or oat flour, so (if you’re like me, a coconut-flour-hater 90% of the time) here’s how I would do that, in general: for every ¼ cup of coconut flour, sub in 1 cup of all-purpose flour. I can’t promise that this method will work perfectly for everything from cookies to pancakes, but for the most part, it has worked for me. 

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Almond: Last, but - well, yeah - kinda’ least in my book, almond flour! On a scale of 1-10 - 10 being the most loved and 1 being the least - almond flour is, like, a 0.5. I’ve had more success and enjoyment with coconut flour than I have with almond flour, so I literally never buy it or use it, and I rarely eat anything made with it. To me, almond-flour breads are dense, and almond-flour cookies are gritty. It’s also far out of my price range when I’m shopping for baking ingredients, so I’m not the person to come to for advice here. Sorry! 

Thanks for reading part one of this series! I hope you found it helpful. Please leave any questions in the comments, and stay tuned for the next posts in this series!

Resources: 
https://healthygrains.ca/faq-grains-wheat-flour-and-bread-1https://www.thekitchn.com/whats-the-difference-between-bleached-and-unbleached-flour-223858https://www.bobsredmill.com/blog/healthy-living/a-little-more-about-coconut-flour-guest-post/

Little Things (gratitude amidst a pandemic)

This is a challenging, scary, stressful, and anxious time for the individual, the family, the community, the state, the country, and the world. We are desperately in need of so many things - medical equipment, good leadership, answers, loved ones, and more. At the same time, much of the current situation is out of your control and mine. Other than practicing social distancing, staying at home, washing our hands, and staying educated, we can’t do much else to regain our old sense of normalcy.

Next to a long list of can’t-control things stands one can-control with incredible comforting and healing powers: and that’s gratitude. Make it a daily practice, as often as washing your hands, to feel it transform your days. Here’s my gratitude list. Yeah, it’s a lot of quarantine things, probably similar to how yours looks. That’s life right now.

Home-cooked, comfort-food meals

Within a matter of days, Mom, Dad, and I acquired three more bodies in our house, now that my brother, sister-in-law, and nephew (!!!) rushed their move-in date from late May of this year to late March. So instead of cooking for three and boxing up leftovers after dinner, I’m multiplying ingredients and recipes and we’re all cleaning our plates at the end of the meal. I certainly do not mind two additional, appreciative, and very hungry taste-testers (my nephew sticks mostly to breast-milk) at the table!

The photo above is one of a big batch of homemade ham and spinach mac and cheese - a dish Dad and I normally reserve for the days following Christmas and Easter, when we have 3/4 of a giant ham consuming most of our fridge space. But, since the days are blending together and we’re cooking at home more than ever before, we decided not to wait for the post-holiday-days. This is a recipe based off a basic one from 365 Ways to Cook Pasta - I spiced it up a little bit and will be sharing the recipe here later this week!

Speaking of cheesy crowd-pleasing meals - enchiladas! I always underestimate this dish. In my opinion, restaurant, store-bought, and take-out versions always seem mushy with refried beans and overstuffed with rice, an unnecessary addition. Making a pan of enchiladas at home is my favorite way to make them, and no, I’m not biased. I just know what I like. When I’m feeling like it, I’ll roll them up and snuggle one stuffed tortilla next to another, but lately, I’ve been loving - and my taste-testers strongly agree with me - layers of tortilla, chicken, veggies, cheese, beans, and sauce.

Like the mac and cheese, my version of this classic crowd-pleasing comfort food will be on the blog in the coming week or two. The only question remaining is: rolls or layers??

Baking (mainly the Comfort Cookies)

In a baking mood (like 90% of my life) one Monday afternoon, I dug through the pantry to find my go-to cookie ingredients: turbinado sugar, whole-wheat pastry flour, and big dark chocolate chunks. For the first time in a long time, our pantry contained not a single one of those ingredients. Instead, we had all-purpose flour, brown sugar, and - my least favorite - miniature milk chocolate chips. I could’ve surrendered, walked away from the pantry and brushed the little baking fairy off my shoulder on that Monday afternoon. As you probably guess, I did not surrender - I walked right into that pantry with the baking fairy on my shoulder encouraging me to make do with what we had on hand.

And I’m darn glad I did that because look what I - no, we - have been rewarded with! Crispy-edged, gooey-centered chocolate chip (both milk and dark) cookies. I shall call them “comfort cookies”, a name that seems most fitting these days.

Get the recipe here!

My people

So many of my friends and peers are living alone right now because that was their situation before the pandemic, or because they just don’t want to go home to their older parents and put them at a high risk of infection. I feel so lucky in my situation, having been at home with my parents for almost six months now, in the suburbs (far from Minnesota’s main metropolitan area), and at a relatively low risk. Though I sometimes go a little stir-crazy and feel desperately in need of both alone time and interaction with young adults - an age group I haven’t seen or spoken to in almost two months now - I’m incredibly thankful that I can physically hold my loved ones close in this season of life.

Also, I’m an AUNT! Pictured above are Grandma and Grandpa Hansen holding sweet little baby Judah before we put him to bed. He gives light to our cloudiest days, and I love him more than I thought was possible.

Small gestures with big impacts

Period information is not - and should not be - TMI for anyone, so here goes. My symptoms have been borderline unbearable on the first day of my period, and last Saturday, they hit me like a freight train - cramps, nausea, fatigue, and lower back pain took up most of my energy that day. At least I was locked inside by rain and stay-at-home orders! To ease the pain and discomfort, I kept a bottle of Midol nearby (and followed the dosage instructions - don’t worry) and a muscle-relaxing heat pad on my lower abdomen most of the day.

Thennnnnn… wait for it…

I got a sweet text from my guy telling me to check my doorstep for a little package he’d dropped off: our first picture picture together-ish (our hands, at least), my favorite candy that I rarely buy for myself, and not just one, but TWO bottles of my favorite wine from San Luis Obispo! He’s officially a keeper. Thanks Brandon :)

Anyone else feel like they might head straight for the Olympic speed-walking team when all this is over? Just me? Cool.

Well, my daily walks bring me buckets of joy, and seeing the sidewalk-chalk artwork by the kiddos in my neighborhood multiplies those buckets by ten. Whether their parents prompt these uplifting notes, I don’t know and I don’t care, because they’re adorable and encouraging. Childlike joy and hope, I believe, can fill some of our heart’s deepest needs right now.

Reading

Things I read: the newspaper, online news articles, the NYT Food column, Bon Appetit’s Highly Recommend and anything by Carla Lalli Music, mine and my dad’s writing (proof-reading), and a few books I always keep on my nightstand. These days, I need a break from the news, and I rely on the few books on my nightstand to bring me out of a news-rut. I just finished Harry Potter, book #1, and I’m waiting for book #2 to arrive, which probably won’t be until the pandemic subsides. Until then, I’m seeking out a light-hearted read - any recommendations? Comment below!

Spending time in the sun

Spring is spring-ing! And it’s doing so right at the time we Minnesotans need it most. The sunshine does, however, make staying home and away from popular lakes and gathering a little difficult, BUT it’s necessary and the sooner we start distancing and staying home, the sooner we can get back out there. Thankfully, staying home doesn’t mean staying indoors at all times. We like to make use of the deck in our backyard and the porch in our front yard on sunny days like this one. With a big snack plate on the table and a drink in hand for each of us, we perch ourselves on the porch for as long as the sun shines. I used to take this for granted and preferred happy hours at on a restaurant or brewery patio, but now, without those options, this is like a little slice of heaven.

My go-to cocktail lately: a glass of kombucha with a shot of vodka, stirred not shaken (do not shake kombucha).

Your turn! Tell me - what are you grateful for right now?

Thanks for reading! I hope this post brought some light to what may be some dark days for you. More importantly, I hope you’re encouraged to cultivate gratitude in your everyday life. I promise you - a daily gratitude practice makes such a difference.

Thoughts on Self-Control

I ate a bite of cookie dough at 8:56 AM and immediately thought about the concept of self-control. Just before 9 AM isn’t the typical cookie time, so does that mean I shouldn’t be eating the cookie? Should I practice tighter self-control? What even is self-control? Many believe that self-control is about food restriction - don’t eat that cookie! Especially not at this hour. But I believe that self-control can be more beneficial when applied to our thoughts and mindset - don’t judge yourself based on such a small act! Especially for eating just a bite of cookie dough that was absolutely delicious. 

Unable to withhold my curiosity on this topic, I asked my Instagram followers what came to mind when they thought of or heard the term “self-control”. Here are the most common responses:

• restriction, and rigid food and exercise rules

• dieting, unhealthy

• anxiety, obsessive thoughts

• guilt, blame

• a trigger (likely of eating disorder/disordered eating behaviors)

• imposed by culture/society

Interesting. I share many of these mental associations because I’ve lived in my own world that revolved around my self-control. Without it - if I slipped up one day and ate merely 7 more calories than I was “supposed to” - I was crushed by anxiety and obsessive thoughts, guilt and blame. Given these responses, I don’t doubt that many of you know those feelings well, too.

To the person who mentioned the last bullet point - “imposed by culture/society” - THANK YOU. You’re exactly right and you’ve helped guide this post in the right direction. Self-control, in terms of food and exercise, is not a desired state of living for the human body. It’s natural, sometimes, perhaps when stress arises, but it’s meant to pass. Our bodies aren’t meant to live in rigid self-control (of food and exercise) mode. Self-control is a weight-loss tactic imposed by diet culture. Diet culture doesn’t prioritize our long-term health the way it prioritizes profit.

What if we thought of self-control less from a point of food restriction, and more from a point of negative-thought restriction? What if we focused less on what we can’t feed ourselves and more on what we can tell ourselves? Just like you probably wouldn’t want to eat deep-fried cheese-stuffed bacon-wrapped Oreos everyday, you also wouldn’t want to constantly tell yourself that you suck at self-care, you’re lazy, unmotivated, and unskilled. Both are extremes (though I might want a bite of that Oreo concoction sometime, just out of taste curiosity), but only to get my point across. 

After extreme restriction, the body eventually arrives at a point where it can no longer maintain such circumstances, and it loses control. The mind works similarly. We can’t “perfectly” control every morsel of food we put into our bodies or the amount of exercise we perform forever, and we can’t control every single thought that pops into our heads. What we CAN do is notice the thoughts that come in, approach them free of judgment, and determine whether or not that thought speaks any truth. Is this criticism even worth your time and energy? If the thought is making a hurtful judgment about your character based on something you ate, it’s not worth your time and energy. Counter that thought with something truthful, positive, and encouraging about who you are - and maybe it should have nothing to do with food, exercise, or physical appearance - and let the negativity go.

THIS is what you can control.

I’m not telling you to eat to cookies for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. I won’t ever tell you how or what to eat (but you should try this vegan snack board because it’s fun and adventurous). I hope you’ll always listen to your internal cues to determine your food choices, with consideration of your external environment, of course. I also hope you’ll be mindful of your mind - what’s it telling you when you take a bite of a cookie, or a burger, or a grilled chicken breast, or a salad? Do you believe whatever it’s saying? Take control of your thoughts and tell yourself the truth - your food choices don’t determine your character. You do. Eat what you love, with who you love.