I ate a bite of cookie dough at 8:56 AM and immediately thought about the concept of self-control. Just before 9 AM isn’t the typical cookie time, so does that mean I shouldn’t be eating the cookie? Should I practice tighter self-control? What even is self-control? Many believe that self-control is about food restriction - don’t eat that cookie! Especially not at this hour. But I believe that self-control can be more beneficial when applied to our thoughts and mindset - don’t judge yourself based on such a small act! Especially for eating just a bite of cookie dough that was absolutely delicious.
Unable to withhold my curiosity on this topic, I asked my Instagram followers what came to mind when they thought of or heard the term “self-control”. Here are the most common responses:
restriction, and rigid food and exercise rules
dieting, unhealthy
anxiety, obsessive thoughts
guilt, blame
a trigger (likely of eating disorder/disordered eating behaviors)
imposed by culture/society
Interesting. I share many of these mental associations because I’ve lived in my own world that revolved around my self-control. Without it - if I slipped up one day and ate merely 7 more calories than I was “supposed to” - I was crushed by anxiety and obsessive thoughts, guilt and blame. Given these responses, I don’t doubt that many of you know those feelings well, too.
To the person who mentioned the last bullet point - “imposed by culture/society” - THANK YOU. You’re exactly right and you’ve helped guide this post in the right direction. Self-control, in terms of food and exercise, is not a desired state of living for the human body. It’s natural, sometimes, perhaps when stress arises, but it’s meant to pass. Our bodies aren’t meant to live in rigid self-control (of food and exercise) mode. Self-control is a weight-loss tactic imposed by diet culture. Diet culture doesn’t prioritize our long-term health the way it prioritizes profit.
What if we thought of self-control less from a point of food restriction, and more from a point of negative-thought restriction? What if we focused less on what we can’t feed ourselves and more on what we can tell ourselves? Just like you probably wouldn’t want to eat deep-fried cheese-stuffed bacon-wrapped Oreos everyday, you also wouldn’t want to constantly tell yourself that you suck at self-care, you’re lazy, unmotivated, and unskilled. Both are extremes (though I might want a bite of that Oreo concoction sometime, just out of taste curiosity), but only to get my point across.
After extreme restriction, the body eventually arrives at a point where it can no longer maintain such circumstances, and it loses control. The mind works similarly. We can’t “perfectly” control every morsel of food we put into our bodies or the amount of exercise we perform forever, and we can’t control every single thought that pops into our heads. What we CAN do is notice the thoughts that come in, approach them free of judgment, and determine whether or not that thought speaks any truth. Is this criticism even worth your time and energy? If the thought is making a hurtful judgment about your character based on something you ate, it’s not worth your time and energy. Counter that thought with something truthful, positive, and encouraging about who you are - and maybe it should have nothing to do with food, exercise, or physical appearance - and let the negativity go.
THIS is what you can control.
I’m not telling you to eat to cookies for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. I won’t ever tell you how or what to eat (but you should try this vegan snack board because it’s fun and adventurous). I hope you’ll always listen to your internal cues to determine your food choices, with consideration of your external environment, of course. I also hope you’ll be mindful of your mind - what’s it telling you when you take a bite of a cookie, or a burger, or a grilled chicken breast, or a salad? Do you believe whatever it’s saying? Take control of your thoughts and tell yourself the truth - your food choices don’t determine your character. You do. Eat what you love, with who you love.
