From the books I can’t put down and the podcasts I can’t get enough of, to the number one way I pull myself out of a funk and an important reminder in the wake of many changes, these are the things I’m thinking about these days.
Bathroom Mirror Pep-Talks
I look at this as a way of adulting. When it’s been one of those days and you need an encouraging pick-me-up - and even coffee, cinnamon rolls, your favorite belt-it-out-in-the-car-song, funny YouTube videos and memes won’t do the trick - try a bathroom mirror pep-talk. I’ve had a few of those lately, and I’ve needed to escape the crowd of people around me to gather my emotions before they let burst like a ruptured artery.
I made dinner reservations at - Young Joni - the top place on my Minnesota Eats and Drinks list a month in advance because it’s that hot of a spot, and I’d been counting down the days. Finally, the day arrived, and as my parents and I drove over, I sat in the backseat feeling a thick cloud of smoke wrap around me, infecting my sunny excitement and joy with gloomy discouragement and sorrow. Suddenly my mind felt heavier than I could lift. The lump in my throat felt like a baseball. My heart felt… slow.
I didn’t know how to escape this besides escaping my surroundings, so I excused myself to the restroom, gripped the sink, and looked myself in the eyes. They swelled with tears and I didn’t try to stop them. I let them roll down my cheeks, just feeling them. Letting myself feel. Soon enough, they slowed to a stop and I gathered myself, finding and embracing the strength and encouragement scattered throughout my heart. “Life is bigger than this moment. You are stronger than you think. And this will make sense soon.”
Took a deep breath. Wiped the tears. And walked out a little stronger, content that I finally found the strength I needed within in a moment when I felt weakest.
Books
“Yeah, I guess I like to read,” as I shuffle through three books on my nightstand: Good Habits, Bad Habits; Crazy Rich Asians; and Will Write For Food. Yes, I do like to read. I love it. For the sake of balance, creativity, and fun, I like to have multiple genres on hand at the same time.
Good Habits, Bad Habits is my educational book, satisfying my nerdy needs. I’m not in school anymore, and that void needs to be filled somehow. Ideally, I’d get my hands on a nutrition book, but those are tough to find amongst all the diet and weight loss books stacked on bookshelves. If you know of any, leave your recommendations in the comments! Much appreciated.
Crazy Rich Asians is my second favorite movie (The Princess Diaries has my heart) in writing. I didn’t think I’d like reading the book of a movie I’ve already seen, but I actually enjoy picturing the characters, scenery, and interactions. This is the book I pull out from the middle of the stack when I’m cozying up in bed and need something to help me unwind, slow the wheels in my brain, and ease me into sleep. In the same way I admire Anne Hathaway’s genuine sophistication, confidence, and drive, I admire Rachel Chu’s determination, fearlessness, and intelligence.
Will Write for Food feels like I’m actually still working when I’d rather be relaxing, when I’ve already closed my computer and ripped up my to-do list from the day - that’s why it’s taking me the longest to get through this one. Even though it’s educational, applicable to my field of work, and interesting, I still need some convincing to open this one up. If you’re a food writer, I’d definitely recommend adding this to your library!
Podcasts
I spend more time in my car these days than I ever have - driving into work, to a friend’s house, and even to the grocery store and gym gives me at least 15 minutes in the car. The productivity-driven self-employed to-do-list lover I am always asks how I can use that time to my advantage. As much as I adore cute, mushy-gushy love songs that let me slip away into day-dreams of the “perfect” relationship for a couple minutes, to me, that dreamland isn’t the place where I want to spend most of my time. And now that I’m not in school, I’m craving little snippets of education like a couple bites of something sweet after dinner every night.
On days when I don’t drive anywhere, I still need to leave the house. Like, I need to. So, I lace up my shoes, slip on my gloves, and plug in my headphones and hope that my fingers won’t freeze over the course of the next hour while I walk, listen, and think.
Thank goodness for podcasts. Many podcasts. More than I can manage, at times, actually. Among my favorites: Bon Appetit and The Splendid Table, for foodies; TED Talks Daily, NPR News Now, Up First, and Hidden Brain, for nerds and news junkies; Nutrition Matters, Nourishing Women, The Chasing Joy Podcast, and Food Psych, for the intuitive eaters and wellness geeks; Get Real with Caroline Hobby, Ellen on the Go, and Oprah’s SuperSoul Conversations, for the casual but still-worth-your-time conversationalists; aaaaand Ask Iliza Anything, for the I-just-need-to-laugh moments. It’s a diverse list that keeps me interested, educated, and curious.
What are your favorite podcasts? Just in case my list isn’t long enough…
Adjustments
Naturally, I create timelines in my mind. By this time, I should be _____. Fill in the blank: in a relationship, working full-time in my ideal job, signing the lease on my new apartment, feeling completely comfortable in my new home, and the list goes on. It’s a good thing I don’t fill my calendar with these expectations because that thing would be an absolute mess of scribbles and X’s and arrows. In a subconscious attempt to push myself through discomfort, I inadvertently set deadlines for these things over which I don’t have full control. All I’m doing is setting unrealistic expectations, goals I’m not sure I can reach, and letting myself down when I can’t fulfill them for whatever reason.
When I moved here in October, I thought that by March - the end of winter and beginning of spring (fingers crossed) - I’d fully acclimated to the weather, the cities, the suburbs, a new job, a new set of friends, etc. What exactly gave me the idea that March would be this magical point in time, I’m not sure. And here I am, still adjusting. I’m still reminding myself to never leave my gloves and tennis shoes in the car overnight because they’ll lose their purpose of warmth the next day. I’m still learning how to drive in the snow, when lanes disappear and snowflakes cover the windshield. I’m still searching for a (new) job, a big-girl job with full-time hours, benefits, and responsibilities that match my qualifications. I’m still adjusting to living at home under my parents’ roof in a town with few young adults looking to socialize.
I’m still adjusting and I’m still learning that it’s o k a y if I’m not where I thought I should be by now. I’m right where I’m supposed to be.
LET’S CONNECT!
Thanks for reading! Tell me: what podcasts and books are you loving right now? In what ways are you building up your confidence and resilience? And, if you’re in the midst or aftermath of changes, how are you adjusting to them?