T minus seven days and I’m out.
It’s so crazy to me how incredibly fast time flies. I feel like I started my senior year and ended it all in the same week. Now, I’m about to start college, my brother is finishing up – soon enough I’ll be walking down the aisle or something! Just kidding. I don’t plan on getting hitched anytime soon, unless of course, it would make my last name “Efron”.
I do, however, plan on walking down the aisle in the grocery store in about an hour. Does that count?
Anyway, it recently hit me that I’ll be a college-student VERY soon. Let me tell you – this week could not go by faster. I’m so excited I might just pee my pants right here in this coffee shop (Canabru, if you’re wondering). But it’s my favorite one and I don’t think they’d want me back in here if I did that. I can hold it.
To be honest, I was scared at first. The idea of going somewhere completely new and living there, going to school there, having to make all new friends there freaked me out. I knew I’d be uncomfortable. I even had cold-feet at one point, wondering why I wanted to leave a place where everything was so familiar – the place where my home is, where my friends live, where I went to school for almost twelve years. I asked myself why I chose to drive three and a half hours up the coast, where I’d never gone before, and start over.
The past few weeks have challenged me more than I thought I ever could be challenged. I felt like I had been pushed to my breaking point, like I’d “hit rock bottom” if you will, for reasons I’ll tell you another time (stay tuned).
So I prayed and prayed and prayed and prayed. Then I prayed some more. And somehow, God gave me such reassurance and confidence in my decision. Cal Poly SLO is where He wants me, and I just have to trust Him.
When people ask me what I’m most excited for, my answer is pretty broad – “I just can’t wait to explore!” I want to explore new people and new friends, new coffee shops and new grocery stores, new classes and new teachers – the list goes on. I’ll have everything I need and more to find who I am, what I want, and what in the world I’m supposed to do with my time here.
I’ve learned that, at some point in your life, you kind of have to hit rock bottom and be terrified. Why? Because it teaches you to suck it up, get up, and keep your chin up. I know that sounds a little harsh, but sometimes life itself is just harsh. And once you gain the strength to fight the harsh stuff, you become so much stronger and your outlook completely changes.
In the end, when it’s all over, you look back and thank God for all of it, because now you’re here, and here is where you’re supposed to be. To me, I love knowing that right now in this very moment, I’m exactly where God wants me. Tonight, He wants me at my friend’s house with my wonderful family for dinner. In a week, He wants me in the car heading up to my future. Ten years from now, I don’t know where He’ll want me, but He’ll get me there.
And I’m excited for that, too.
:)
